Last week, I hosted my first in-person burnout recovery workshop for the Taiwanese Community in Seattle. We sat down with over 30 professionals in tech to talk about the unspoken truths of our community: the weight of the “model minority” myth, the pressure of high-performance work environments, and the cultural expectations that demand we just “work harder.”

Statistics show that Asian Americans have the lowest mental health service utilization rate of any racial group - often because the pressure to maintain a perfect professional facade outweighs the permission to seek help. This is why I was incredibly humbled by the vulnerability shared in that room, and I’m grateful to have the space to normalize conversations around mental health and building sustainable ways to work and live.

The session reminded me to finish the final installment of my Burnout Survival Guide: Building an Intentional Career. While the first three parts were distilled from my own recovery after a medical leave, preventing future burnout is a much longer, more iterative process that I am still navigating.

After climbing the corporate ladder for over a decade and finally finding my passion and purpose, here are a few lessons I’ve distilled along the way:

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The Burnout Survival Guide Refresher:

• Where are you on the burnout spectrum?

• The dark side of being high-functioning

• Are you in a toxic relationship with work?

• A step-by-step guide to taking medical leave

How to Build an Intentional Career

1. Non-Negotiables are truly non-negotiable.

I’ve talked before about the “Big 4” non-negotiables - Sleep, Eat, Move, Play. These are essential for regulating our nervous system; neglecting any one of them over the long term is a surefire way to invite burnout back into your life.

For me, a job is simply unsustainable if it requires sacrificing my health. Whether I’m working for someone else or for myself, I prioritize these four above all else. To put it bluntly: I’m too tired to neglect my health for a paycheck.

2. Internal alignment is the key to authenticity.

Often, burnout is a symptom of a mismatch between our internal values and our external environment. Too many of us chase goals defined by society’s version of success rather than what we actually value. For the longest time, I didn’t know what actually fulfilled me, so I followed the conventional path: climb the ladder, chase the promotions, and secure the salary bumps to prove I was “on track.”

Now, I’ve learned to listen to my own voice. Staying true to my values and remaining authentic at work is my primary defense against burning out. My ADHD diagnosis following my burnout was also a wake-up call on the hidden cost of high-functioning masking - it serves as a reminder of the importance of honoring my own needs.

3. Cultivate radical self-awareness.

Internal alignment looks different for everyone, which is why self-awareness is the foundation of an intentional career. Understanding your strengths, work styles, and preferred environments provides the variables for your dream career equation. Usually, the data is already there in your past experiences - it just takes some reflection to connect the dots. If the answers aren't clear yet, consider it a signal to start experimenting :)

This is also why I have an unhealthy obsession with personality tests, Myers-Briggs (INTP), and even Astrology charts (Virgo Sun, Libra Rising). If self-awareness is vital to our life choices, why not make the process fun and a little mystical?

4. The Career Sweet Spot: Finding your Ikigai.

Ikigai is the Japanese concept of finding your “reason for being.” While we don’t necessarily need a thriving career to achieve ikigai, it certainly helps if we can do what we love professionally. The “Career Sweet Spot” is the intersection of what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for.

To me, finding ikigai isn’t a fixed destination, but a framework that evolves alongside our priorities. In the past, I overindexed on the intersection of what I was good at and what I could be paid for. Now, I’m shifting my focus toward what I love, what I’m good at, and what the world needs - giving myself the space to experiment with the rest of the equation.

5. Give yourself space to iterate and experiment.

Finding your ikigai is a long-term process that requires constant iteration. We need to give ourselves the “runway” to make mistakes and learn, rather than obsessing over immediate results. Most startups fail to find product market fit not because the idea is bad, but because they ran out of time and funding to experiment.

As a recovering perfectionist, I have to constantly remind myself: doing is better than a perfect plan. Viewing my career as a lifelong adventure frees me from the weight of needing all the answers right now. A year ago, I never would have predicted I’d be here - speaking to a room of people about a topic I’m deeply passionate about, and using my art to tell stories of healing. But by following my interests and my intuition, one experiment at a time, I found my way here.

This series has been such a cathartic way to process my own burnout journey, and I’d love to hear where you are on yours. If you’re in the middle of a career pivot or just want to share your own burnout story, feel free to reach out or hit reply!

If you want to keep the conversation going, you can find me here:

• LinkedIn: I share more about career strategy, workplace well-being, and spicy takes on tech trends.

• Instagram: This is where I share my behind-the-scenes, unfiltered rants, and my art!

Finally, if your team or community could use a space to talk about burnout recovery and intentional career (like we did in Seattle!), I’d love to bring a workshop to you. You can [book a time here] or just hit reply to start the conversation.

Spring is here, and I couldn’t be more excited! As someone who is easily affected by the seasons, seeing the cherry blossoms bloom is the ultimate serotonin boost. For me, the first few months of 2026 felt like treading through mud - a time of deep internal work, reflection, and “hibernating” while brewing upcoming projects. But now that the sun is out, I’m ready to spring into action!

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My First In-Person Burnout Workshop!

I’m thrilled to announce that I’m hosting a burnout workshop for the Taiwanese community in the Seattle area on April 18th. You can register for free here.

As a Taiwanese American, I grew up under the weight of the “model minority” myth. It taught me that my self-worth was inextricably tied to my achievements and work ethic. For many of us in the Asian American community, hard work isn’t just a career choice; it’s a survival strategy. But there is a dark side to this work ethic. I didn’t realize how high the price was until my own health began to pay the bill.

In this workshop, I’ll be covering:

• The Burnout Audit: Identifying red flags before it’s too late.

• The Medical Leave Guide: Navigating your rights and taking the time you need.

• The Recovery Toolkit: Practical tools to help you reconnect and rebuild.

If you’re in the Seattle area, please join us for this free workshop! Note: The session will be conducted in Mandarin Chinese - my first language.

From Tech Burnout to Gallery Walls

Last year this time, I was deep in burnout from an unfulfilling tech career and had to take medical leave. I was making the most money I’ve ever made, but I was miserable. I spent years working to get to where I was and had to give it all up because success was costing my mental health.

When I was at my lowest, art saved me. It taught me to embrace my intuition, let go of perfectionism, and trust the process instead of stressing over performance and productivity - all the things we were taught to value in a corporate setting. I felt myself healing as I released all my anger and grief through colors onto my canvas.

Since then, I’ve committed to my creative passions, taking art classes and experimenting with encaustic and oil - mediums that I was too intimidated to try. A year later, it feels surreal to see my own work hanging on a gallery wall. I painted this self-portrait purely from intuition, with visible marks of mistakes made during my experimentation. This piece reminds me that failures don’t make our lives any less beautiful; they are the marks that make the final portrait feel complete.

I’m excited to continue this artistic journey and hope to have my own show one day. A girl can dream big! :)

Diving Deep into Adult ADHD

I first began exploring neurodivergence after chatting with several people who were late-diagnosed with ADHD as adults following medical leave for burnout. This sparked my interest in uncovering the connection between the two.

After receiving my own ADHD diagnosis last month, the patterns of my life finally clicked. I finally understood why I often felt so debilitated when starting simple everyday tasks, why I struggled with executive dysfunction-related anxiety, and why emotional regulation has always been a struggle. I used to label these traits as “lazy” or “low energy,” believing they were undesirable parts of me that needed to be fixed. Now, I realize I’ve been high-functioning and masking for decades - until I hit a wall and burst into flames last year.

Research shows that up to 93% of adults with ADHD experience burnout symptoms, compared to only 30% of the general population. It is especially common for women and BIPOC with ADHD (particularly the inattentive type) to be diagnosed later in life. This is often because our symptoms are internal, and our cultures have socially conditioned us to mask our struggles just to be accepted.

Frankly, research on adult ADHD in women and people of color is severely lacking. Studies on how ADHD manifests in women only began in the late 1990s and early 2000s, and I could barely find any existing data on neurodivergence in people of color.

I’m committed to continuing this research and will share more insights in a later newsletter. In the meantime, I would love to connect with anyone who is diagnosed or suspects they might have ADHD. I believe many more of us are living with undiagnosed neurodivergence because of our cultural conditioning - and awareness and community are the first steps toward clarity.

I’m so grateful to have you all on this journey with me as I navigate these new discoveries. Spring is a season of unfolding, and I’m inspired by the energy of growth in the air. I’m especially excited to bring more of you into this process: I’ll be launching a Burnout BFF Community Creative Workshop series next month! It will be a dedicated space for us to use art as a tool for burnout recovery and connection. More details coming soon - subscribe and stay tuned!

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1. The Great Push-Out: Women are leaving the workforce at a record pace

You may have seen the headlines: between January and August 2025, over 455,000 women left the U.S. workforce. While a significant portion of these exits resulted from intensifying layoff cycles, 58% of women who left did so VOLUNTARILY.

Why would anyone give up a paycheck in this economy? Women are leaving not because of a lack of ambition, but because the system does not support them. According to a 2026 Catalyst study, 42% of women cited insufficient wages to cover skyrocketing childcare costs and inadequate workplace flexibility as their primary drivers for leaving.

In short, childcare has become so expensive that for many women, working is no longer mathematically justifiable. While there is profound value in being a full-time parent, the system is clearly failing women when that choice is a result of lack of options.

“Although many of these exits are labeled ‘voluntary,’ women often agonize over these decisions, stitching together caregiving solutions and managing their expenses, trying to succeed in jobs that fail to account for family responsibilities and economic pressures, until they reach a breaking point.” —Joy Ohm, VP at Catalyst

I’ve seen this pattern firsthand - brilliant female colleagues leaving high-paying roles because they are penalized for having caretaking priorities outside of work, while simultaneously carrying the guilt of no longer contributing financially to their households. It’s a mystery why the younger generation is overwhelmingly opting out of parenthood.

2. Sponsorship Gap, Double Bind Bias, and Flexibility Stigma

It’s not just mothers who are exiting the workforce; women across the board are hitting structural walls. McKinsey’s 2025 Women in the Workplace study revealed that Corporate America is actively rolling back progress.

Women are significantly less likely than their male peers to have “sponsors” at work - leaders who actively advocate for their promotion. This hit entry-level women the hardest - but even for female executives who have successfully clawed their way up into senior management, they receive less support and fewer leadership opportunities.

Specifically, Asian women face even more barriers when it comes to advancing into leadership roles in corporate America due to the “Double Bind” bias. We are often told we lack the assertiveness required for leadership, yet we are penalized as aggressive or difficult when we do speak up and go against expectations. (Ask any Asian woman - she’s likely been given feedback to be “more visible” while simultaneously being silenced and ignored.)

It’s no secret that the Return to Office (RTO) mandate disproportionately impacts working mothers, but the data on “Flexibility Stigma” is even more eye-opening. The 2025 McKinsey report revealed that women who work remotely are promoted less frequently than those on-site, yet men suffer no such career penalty for the same arrangement. A woman working remotely is often assumed to be less engaged, while a man’s work commitment is simply taken for granted. We literally cannot win.

3. The Biological Toll: Female Burnout and Chronic Health Risks

The Uterus Tax doesn’t just impact our career trajectory or earning potential; more importantly, it directly affects our long-term health and well-being.

A 2024 CERP study found women are 3x more likely than men to experience clinical burnout, meaning one in seven women will have experienced a burnout collapse by age 40. This helps explain why women accounted for a staggering 71% of all mental health-related leaves.

“Working women – especially moms and other caregivers – often neglect their self-care until they hit the point of being so burnout they need to take a leave of absence.”
—Dr. Jennifer Birdsall, Clinical Director of ComPsych

The physical implications of this chronic stress are devastating. Research from late 2025 indicates that those with stress-related disorders have a 36% to 46% higher risk of developing autoimmune conditions. And guess what? Approximately 70% of all autoimmune patients are women. (These numbers still continue to surprise me even as someone who’s painfully aware of women’s health issues.)

Beyond immunity issues, chronic stress creates a domino effect across a woman’s entire life cycle:

• Reproductive Burnout: Prolonged stress increases oxidative stress linked to higher rates of Endometriosis and PCOS (Frontiers, 2026). This creates a physical toll on fertility: high job strain significantly increases the likelihood of anovulation (cycles where no egg is released) even if periods appear regular (MDPI, 2025). Furthermore, women who report “high psychological distress” show lower implantation rates during IVF cycles compared to those with managed stress levels (NIH, 2026).

• Menopause Penalty: Menopausal women are the fastest-growing workforce segment, yet they face a significant earnings penalty due to health symptoms. One in four women with severe symptoms considers leaving the workforce entirely due to inflexible environments (Stanford, 2025).

Having personally experienced clinical burnout and spoken with dozens of women who have faced the same struggle, I’ve seen firsthand how workplace stress fuels mental health challenges and negatively impacts our physical health. We can’t talk about one without the other.

Demanding workplace support for women’s health is no longer an optional conversation; it is a critical, urgent issue that impacts both current and future generations.

How do we fix a system not built for us?

Fixing women is not the solution. Patriarchy and capitalism have tried that, and it only resulted in a generation of exhausted, high-achieving women and a younger generation that views parenthood as an unattainable luxury.

• Embrace our bodies: Our biology isn't “inconvenient” - the problem is a system that was never designed with our bodies in mind. Embracing our feminine strength and celebrating every part of our experience (even the difficult ones) is a form of resistance. We all know that if men menstruated, “bleeding holidays” and specialized benefits would be standard policy.

• Demand systematic change: If the problem is the environment, then the burden shouldn’t fall on the individual. We need policies that prioritize health and well-being over “business as usual.” While companies offering flexible work, childcare subsidies, and fertility coverage see significantly higher retention, these benefits shouldn’t just be a privilege of private institutions - they should be the baseline.

• Prioritize what matters: Stop pushing through at the expense of your health under the guise of productivity and increasing shareholder value. Instead, invest your time, energy, and resources into communities and causes that actively protect our well-being.

Burnout is an individual symptom of a collective disease. While self-care is a start, “community-care” is the cure. By talking openly about our health and our rage, we break the isolation that keeps us quiet and keep each other’s fires burning without letting them consume us.

Cheers to every strong, beautiful, and resilient woman reading this. Being human is hard, and being a woman brings unique challenges, but I am constantly inspired by the “uterus-holders” who are building authentic lives against the odds. While the numbers may look grim today, I am hopeful that every collective step we take will move the needle toward progress.

If you’re looking for books to help you reflect on your identity, reconnect with your passions, or question the systems we live in, here are the six titles that provided me with solace and clarity during my year of reset. I hope they do the same for you, wherever you are in your burnout journey.

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1. Books For Rebuilding Creativity & Passion

If you feel stuck in your career, these “workbooks” are essential for reframing your narrative and reclaiming your agency. I like them specifically because they have structured exercises that help us reflect and get to clarity.

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

Best for: Repressed creatives who are ready to find their spark again.

It isn’t an exaggeration to say this book healed me during my medical leave and changed my perspective about what being an artist means. While the tone can be a bit spiritual or cliché at times, the core practices - Morning Pages and Artist Dates - are truly transformative. As someone who always struggled to justify my creative passions, this book gave me permission to embrace my identity as an artist and writer. I still practice these rituals today.

Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans

Best for: Anyone seeking a structured, design-thinking approach to their career.

I first encountered this book in business school, as the authors were professors at the Stanford Design Lab. While The Artist’s Way explores spiritual creativity, this book approaches life as a design exercise, offering an empowering framework to build your career. The exercises helped me pinpoint my work style and strengths - insights that continue to inform my career decisions today.

2. Books For Healing What We Carry

Burnout is a traumatic experience rooted in decades of internal narratives and belief systems. To heal, I had to venture down the rabbit hole of generational and emotional patterns that led me there. These books fundamentally reshaped my recovery journey.

What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo

Best for: A must-read for anyone interested in mental health and trauma healing.

This was the best book I read in 2025. Stephanie Foo’s raw, honest memoir about complex PTSD is a masterclass in humility and hope. It specifically highlights how generational trauma and Asian American cultural expectations contribute to burnout, and her own journey to healing and acceptance. Fair warning: The opening chapters are heavy, and you’ll likely find yourself in tears by the end - but it is absolutely worth the ride.

The Book of Joy by the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu

Best for: Finding answers to lasting happiness in a world full of suffering.

I first read this during a low period years ago and picked it up again this year to remind myself of the path toward joy. This is a beautiful conversation between two spiritual giants from different faiths who overcame immense suffering while maintaining a positive outlook. You don’t need to be religious to appreciate this; it’s a wisdom-filled and research-backed guide on how to cultivate joy in the face of hardship.

3. Books For Questioning the System

The deeper I dug into the roots of our exhaustion as a generation, the more I realized burnout is a byproduct of dysfunctional systems - capitalism, corporate greed, and power dynamics. These books validated my burnout experience in tech and exposed the machines that break us.

Careless People by Sarah Wynn-Williams

Best for: An unfiltered look at the irresponsible decisions made by the Silicon Valley elite and how that toxic culture trickles down into employee exhaustion.

This is the book Meta reportedly tried to silence. It offers a scathing behind-the-scenes account of how Facebook’s leadership fueled global political unrest and systematic burnout. As someone who once read Lean In, learning about the reality of Sheryl Sandberg’s leadership style is a cruel reminder of the corporate barriers women still face. Despite valid critiques of the author’s lack of self-accountability in the book, it remains an enlightening exposé on the dysfunctional politics of Silicon Valley.

Abolish Silicon Valley by Wendy Liu

Best for: Disillusioned tech workers looking for a more equitable future.

This recommendation from a friend resonated deeply because of the parallels in our career ambitions. Wendy Liu, an ex-Googler and startup founder, shares her journey from a tech elitist to a writer disillusioned by the systems she once idealized. Beyond her relatable story, she provides a framework for what true innovation without oppressive systems could look like. I recently chatted with Wendy about our shared experiences in tech and passion for books, and she is as brilliant as her writing! You can check out her work here.

This year, I’m excited to dive more into books that cover neurodivergence research, more honest and well-written memoirs about trauma healing, and pieces that connect the common human experience. If you have any book recs, please let me know! And I’d also love to know your thoughts if you’ve read any of the books above 💛

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LinkedIn is supposed to be a job-search platform. It’s where people hunt for openings, cold DM strangers at their dream companies, and scroll past cringey influencers flexing career milestones.

I never expected it to be a place where I’d make genuine connections - until I shared my own burnout story.

That’s how I met Natalie.

She messaged me while she was on medical leave, and from our very first call, we bonded over our shared experiences with toxic workplaces and the kind of burnout that breaks down your body and forces you to step away. Talking to someone who had been through the same thing felt deeply cathartic, especially since burnout is such an isolating experience that it’s hard to explain to others who haven’t been through it.

We stayed in touch after that, and over the next few months, I watched her transform. In the span of five months, she went from needing medical leave to pivoting into a role and a company that was the complete opposite of what burned her out. She listened to her body, prioritized her health, realigned her values, and broke out of a cycle that had kept her stuck for years.

In many ways, her story mirrors my own - just with different details. That’s why I wanted to share her journey.

(Name and details have been changed to protect her anonymity.)

Burnout Disguised as a Career Stalement

Our first call happened right at the beginning of her four-month leave. After talking to so many people about burnout, I’ve noticed something: I can usually tell what stage of burnout someone is in just from their energy - even through a laptop screen.

Underneath the exhaustion, it was clear Natalie was highly capable and deeply conscientious. She had a strong work ethic and a bias toward action - the kind of person who always has a plan and moves quickly from one thing to the next. I recognized myself in her as someone who used to pride myself on being goal-oriented and getting things done.

Like so many of us, she didn’t realize she had been burned out for a long time. Her burnout built up over years - misaligned roles, jumping into a new job right after a layoff because it looked good on paper, and ignoring subtle red flags during onboarding. That role turned out to involve toxic management, false performance claims, and treatment that completely contradicted the quality of her work.

“I’ve always been a good employee and gave work my all. Being treated unfairly and blatantly lied to about my performance shook me to my core.”

Before taking leave, she was physically and mentally depleted - barely eating lunch, waking up exhausted even after a full night of sleep.

And yet, burnout wasn’t even on her radar. She thought she had hit a career stalemate. She had always dealt with situational anxiety and depression, so she assumed this was just another low period she needed to push through - until her therapist suggested something she hadn’t considered at all: taking a medical leave from work.

“I was miserable, but I couldn’t put my finger on why. Burnout actually made me work harder. I tried distracting myself with hobbies, but nothing worked. I was just going through the motions.”

Medical Leave: The Forced Reset

Looking back, she’s grateful her therapist urged her to take medical leave immediately - because if she had time to think about it, she probably would have talked herself out of it due to guilt and shame. She felt a deep sense of responsibility toward her colleagues, even though her body and mind were clearly asking her to stop.

Like many high achievers, she tried to compensate. The day before her leave began, she spent twelve hours putting together an incredibly detailed handoff - essentially wrapping up a quarter’s worth of work in one day.

“That was my biggest regret. I ran myself into the ground to ‘earn’ the leave. I was trying to prove I didn’t fail.”

The first few weeks of leave for Natalie were quiet and simple. She woke up without an agenda. She made herself tea and breakfast - things she hadn’t prioritized for herself in years. She was fortunate that work was the main source of distress in her life, which allowed her to fully focus on recovering her health during leave.

She set small, gentle goals: watching a show that’s been sitting on her to-watch list, finishing a book for fun, and taking long walks with her dog in nature. It struck me how joy always comes from the simplest things in life - but they’re also usually what we abandon first when we’re under chronic stress.

By month two, she started re-engaging with curiosity after her nervous system recovered to baseline. She spent an hour a week learning a new coding language - something she had always been interested in but never found the time or energy. But she still focused on only doing things that she felt ready for, instead of operating under pressure or fear to figure out the next step. She didn’t job search or force productivity. She traveled somewhere she had always dreamed of going, and being immersed in nature helped her remember how big the world is - and how small our problems can be in comparison.

“I’ve always needed to know the next step. But this time, I focused on just existing. Former me would be freaking out, but for the first time, I felt calm knowing this was the right move.”

Choosing Herself and Taking A Risk

By the end of her leave, two things were clear to Natalie: she wasn’t going to return to the workplace that burned her out, and she wanted to pivot into a role and company that aligned with her values.

She hired an employment lawyer to handle the separation. For her, that decision was about self-protection because even the act of emailing her former employer felt emotionally triggering. Ultimately, her lawyer negotiated a favorable separation that allowed her to leave safely and fully focus on healing.

“Working with a lawyer was my way of protecting my peace. I worked so hard to rediscover the hopeful version of myself, and I didn’t want to revisit the place that was so damaging to me.”

As she began interviewing for a new role, she created a list that grounded her through the process: Must Haves, Nice to Haves, and Do Not Wants. She pinned the list in her Notes app and referenced it whenever she felt uncertain about a role after an interview. It was her way of keeping herself accountable and a reminder of what she needs from her next job to prevent the same toxic patterns from occurring again.

That clarity paid off. Natalie landed a role at an AI startup with a people-first culture shortly after her leave. Her new environment was a 180-degree difference from her last job, and the contrast made her realize just how abnormal her previous situation had been and how much toxicity she had tolerated.

Watching her navigate this pivot, especially in a tough job market, was inspiring. But I also knew her success wasn’t a lucky coincidence. This was a result of her intentional decision-making. Instead of giving in to fear and control, she prioritized recovery and patience - trusting the process and focusing on listening to her needs that helped ground her with the confidence and calmness necessary to make a career pivot. This alignment is an intentional career strategy, and it’s hard work.

Post-Burnout Lessons

When we caught up again after Natalie started her new job, her energy was completely different from our first meeting - she was glowing with confidence and vibrant energy. I felt proud of her transformation and was inspired by her journey - so much so that it sparked my idea of starting this interview series where I share people’s stories about how they overcame burnout.

A few things from her story stayed with me:

1. Your intuition is your secret power.

   People always say "trust your gut," but so often we suppress our intuition when we’re operating under a fear mindset. Natalie had felt something was wrong early on with her previous job but couldn’t name it. It wasn’t until she actually followed through with trusting her intuition that she started recovering from burnout, which ultimately led to her landing her dream role after a hard reset.

2. Burnout can be both a gift and a trauma.
   Burnout can cause such severe impact on our nervous system that the effects are similar to PTSD - lasting long beyond leaving the job that caused the harm. Experiencing burnout cost Natalie her time, money, and energy she won’t get back. But it was also a gift that forced her to re-evaluate her choices, raised her standards, and helped her achieve a life with clarity and peace.

Today, she shuts her laptop at the end of the day without guilt. She doesn’t let her to-do list dictate her worth.

“I’m more productive when I live a balanced life. I love my job - but it’s only one part of who I am. The rest of my life deserves my attention too.”

If Natalie’s story resonates with you or if you have your own burnout story to share, comment below or send me a note! I read every reply and would love to hear your feedback. Subscribe to stay updated when the next Burnout BFF Exit Interview drops.

I don’t know about you, but January is hitting me hard.

Between returning from a long trip to Asia, navigating my first bout of seasonal depression in Seattle winter, and the general bleakness of global news, I’ve been feeling sluggish and uninspired. There is a palpable sense of heaviness in the air that’s affecting me—both physically and mentally.

As someone who usually loves January and thrives on making New Year’s resolutions, this lack of motivation feels a bit terrifying. The “old me” would have felt guilty for having emotions that made me “unproductive.” However, my experience with burnout has taught me that it’s vital to sit with these feelings. Emotions are valuable data; they are signs from my body about what I need right now.

Biologically, mammals are wired to hibernate in the winter. Believing we must feel a “clean slate” or a burst of magic on January 1st is as arbitrary as expecting a flower to bloom in a blizzard. The calendar, after all, is a man-made construct.

So, if you’re three weeks into January and feeling unmotivated: I’ve got you. Because SAME.

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A Different Kind of New Year’s Resolution

As a planner and stationery nerd, the New Year is usually my excuse to crack open a fresh notebook and list out every goal.

My past self used to obsess over metrics—tracking productive habits and setting ambitious personal targets—only to inevitably fall short as the year went on and priorities shifted. If the last few years have taught us anything, it’s that nothing is predictable and the only constant is change.

Instead of chasing rigid outcomes, my “resolution” this year is a single mission statement and a few guiding words. I’m focusing on what feels right rather than metrics that may or may not be in my control.

• 2026 Mission Statement: Creating sustainable impact for burnout recovery through authentic storytelling and community building.

• Guiding Words for 2026: Authenticity, Intuition, Creativity, and Connection.

If you’re feeling uninspired by traditional goal-setting, try this simpler way of setting intentions for 2026!

What to expect from Burnout BFF in 2026

For me, 2025 was the year of the “hard reset.” I was forced to re-evaluate my career and life after hitting a wall in Big Tech and taking medical leave. What happened next was beyond anything I could have imagined: by sharing my story of recovery and career reinvention, I connected with so many of you who have walked similar paths. Re-kindling my creative passions helped me find a sense of purpose I thought I had lost forever.

I am so grateful for everyone I’ve met on this journey, and I’m excited to keep building the Burnout BFF community in 2026. Here is what’s coming:

1. Burnout BFF Stories: I’m debuting a new series featuring interviews with people who have overcome burnout and are now living lives that inspire me. When I left my job, the scariest part was not knowing anyone in my immediate circle who had done the same. Talking to these “burned out and badass” people has expanded my worldview and given me hope for my own exploration. I hope their stories help you feel less alone and more inspired to pivot toward a life outside the corporate grind.

2. Burnout BFF Community Building: Community is the heart of Burnout BFF. I want to continue fostering a safe space for us to connect. Earlier this week, a small group of us met for a virtual hangout and creative meditation. We discussed our corporate journeys and used creative exercises to process how our external environments affect our internal energy. It was an incredibly energizing session, and I’m excited to explore new ways to bring this energy to you—things like creative workshops, book clubs, and burnout recovery circles. My hope is to share the very resources I’ve always craved—things that helped me through my darkest chapters and continue to be a vital part of my life now.

3. Deep Dives: Burnout, Neurodivergence, and Trauma: As I process my own experience, I’ve noticed fascinating patterns regarding the intersection of burnout, neurodivergence, and generational trauma. I’m digging deep into these root causes to share insights that can help us all recover, reconnect, and rebuild careers that actually align with who we are. Personally, processing my own generational trauma and identity has been eye-opening, and I want to shine a light on these “taboo” topics that rarely get discussed in professional circles.

Join the Journey 💛

If any of this resonates with you, I’d love to have you along for the ride. Burnout is a heavy load to carry, but it’s a lot lighter when we carry it together.

By subscribing to this Substack, you’ll get these stories and deep dives delivered straight to your inbox. You can also find me sharing more day-to-day reflections on LinkedIn and Instagram. Here’s to a year of listening to our bodies, honoring our pace, and redefining what “success” actually looks like.

The Millennial Midlife Crisis

I grew up believing I would be living my dream life in my 30s—just like the romcoms and Disney Channel shows I watched as a kid. By now, I imagined I would own a beautiful home, have a high-powered job I loved, and a walk-in closet full of fancy clothes and shoes. I was told that if I worked hard, anything was possible for our generation.

Instead, I burned out and quit my six-figure job in big tech, moved apartments every year because renting was cheaper than buying, and spent my days doing everything I could to heal my inner child. My parents had two kids and a house in their 30s, and here I was having a midlife crisis at 33.

And I’m not unique. I’m part of a generation that did everything “right” and still got screwed. We feel stuck in a bad economy we can’t escape. And the most ironic part is that a lot of us can’t even afford a midlife crisis.

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Millennials were taught that if you followed a certain blueprint, you would be successful:

Study hard. Get into a good college. Land a stable job. Climb the ladder. And if that’s not enough—get a master’s degree so you can make more money. Do all that, and you’ll be able to buy a house, have kids, and live the American Dream.

But the harsh truth is setting in: the American Dream is a myth. Mortgages, the cost of living, and childcare keep rising faster than our paychecks.

We’re stuck in the middle—too young to benefit from the booming economy our parents thrived in, and too old to fully opt out like Gen Z. We were raised to chase stability in a world that no longer offers it.

I invested in an MBA because I wanted to advance my career and finally afford to live alone instead of perpetually sharing apartments with roommates. Five years later, we’re in an economy where even top performers can lose their jobs overnight from layoffs or AI—and I’m still paying off $150K in student loans.

And it’s not just me. My friends—smart, ambitious graduates from prestigious universities—hustled into top companies because we believed financial freedom was the path to a good life.

But the reality? My hardworking friends at some of the world’s most well-known companies are still perpetually anxious about money. Some are buried under six-figure student loans. Some are afraid to buy a house because one layoff could wipe them out. Some stay in jobs they hate because they can’t afford the life they want without that paycheck. Some are constantly juggling impossible work-life expectations and the cost of childcare.

Not everyone is having a full-blown midlife crisis—but almost all of us are burned out and questioning the world we were told to trust.

The Myth of Hustle Culture

While we were busy working hard to build the lives we wanted, we were fed a constant message: hustle is a virtue. Look at the billionaires and founders who “made it”—they woke up at 5 a.m., worked out, stayed disciplined, and powered through with grit. That was the story we were sold.

I remember listening to business podcasts and watching productivity videos so I could learn the secret to building wealth and success. I internalized that my lack of energy to hustle for the mythical 5–9 after my 9-5 as my own fault—that I didn’t have the will or determination. But I was never lazy—I worked hard at my job and studied on weekends to apply for grad school so I could advance my career. But somehow that wasn’t enough.

What was always missing from those stories was the infrastructure beneath the hustle: privilege, safety nets, and generational wealth. Bill Gates built Microsoft with wealthy parents behind him. Mark Zuckerberg started Facebook at Harvard, surrounded by resources most people will never have. We were told hard work, grit, and vision got them there, when the reality is that most people simply don’t have that starting point.

I saw this firsthand when I co-founded a startup with two brilliant MBA classmates—one a Caltech-trained technical genius, the other a Brown grad and one of the best generalists I’ve ever met. We had a strong mission, won multiple pitch competitions, and raised venture funding. We had potential and we were committed.

But it wasn’t enough. We were immigrant minorities playing a game with rules that were never designed for us. We didn’t have a built-in network of well-off friends we could hire on vision and a handshake. And when funding dried up during a market crash, we didn’t have parents who could cover our rent so we could keep building without salaries. We had to get full-time jobs because we needed financial stability—no matter how much we believed in what we were creating.

So no—despite what billionaire founders preach, hard work and grit aren’t enough. You can’t be endlessly resilient when you’re worried about rent, bills, and the cost of being alive.

We were told the system was meritocratic—but what we didn’t realize was that the rules were rigged from the start.

The Lifestyle Trap Keeps Us Working More

Part of the hustle culture is this obsession with productivity and optimization. And capitalism frames consumption as self-improvement. We were told success looks like a high-paying job, a beautiful apartment, international travel, and a picture-perfect life. But these aren’t neutral aspirations—they’re products, sold to us through marketing, social media, and corporate greed.

Meanwhile, wages stagnated and the cost of living exploded. But our expectations never adjusted, because older generations insisted, “We did it, so you can too.” We were mocked for buying lattes and avocado toast while homeownership, retirement savings, and healthcare slipped further out of reach. So millennials coped the only way we knew how: through consumerism—wellness, travel, subscriptions, beauty, tech. When real stability feels impossible, we buy the illusion of it.

At the same time, we stay trapped in jobs because we’re still chasing the life we were promised. We tell ourselves that if we just grind a little longer, we’ll save enough for a house or finally get that income bump. Burnout becomes the norm, and the quickest way to numb it is retail therapy, self-care routines, and weekend getaways—small hits of dopamine that keep us going.

Instead of asking why work is so draining, we’re told to optimize ourselves so we can tolerate more of it. “Treat yourself” becomes the justification for staying in roles that exhaust us. And we end up dependent on the very jobs that are draining us—a self-perpetuating loop perfectly designed by capitalism.

The Dark Side of the FIRE Movement

On the other end of the spectrum, many millennials turn to the FIRE movement as a coping mechanism. Rewarding, meaningful jobs—like teaching or nonprofit work—often can’t support the cost of our lives. So the practical among us look for an escape hatch, and FIRE becomes the answer. At its core, FIRE (Financial Independence & Retire Early) promises financial literacy and freedom from work. But the path to FIRE often becomes its own full-time identity—optimizing every expense, obsessing over savings rates, and delaying joy in the name of discipline.

FIRE recreates hustle culture in a different outfit. It’s the same grind cycle, just rebranded as “responsibility.”

The FIRE movement became the millennial version of: if the system won’t save us, we’ll save ourselves. But saving yourself shouldn’t require abandoning your actual life. You start obsessing over your “end date” instead of being present. You restrict pleasure because of a hypothetical future where you’ll finally get to relax. You put your life on hold waiting to “hit your number.”

As someone who deeply believes in the value of financial independence, I’m only now realizing the unintended harm of the FIRE mindset. It conditions an entire generation to measure life by numbers—net worth, savings rate, spending efficiency—as if joy must be earned. It turns every decision into a spreadsheet. It convinces you that your best years should be spent grinding in jobs that drain you, all for the promise of a future freedom that may or may not ever arrive.

The FIRE mindset is, in many ways, the opposite of living in the present. Financial planning is important, yes—but not at the expense of actually living life.

Lean In: Making Women More Tired and Less Engaged

There are a handful of books that define a generation—and Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg became the defining text of “corporate feminism” in the 2010s. It was treated like gospel for career-driven women.

As a wide-eyed new grad entering tech, I read the book while imagining that one day I’d work at a mission-driven, world-changing company like Facebook—never realizing that just a few years later, the world would see the immense harm big tech has inflicted on our humanity.

Some of the advice was useful for women in corporate: raise your hand, speak up, ask for the raise. But the Lean In movement ignored a far more cynical truth: the system was designed to reward only one type of worker. Lean In framed women’s advancement as a matter of individual effort, placing all responsibility on women while overlooking the structural realities that keep many of us exhausted and excluded.

My frustration deepened after reading Sarah Wynn-Williams’ Careless People, where she recounts her experience working with Sheryl Sandberg and the toxic leadership behaviors she modeled for other working women. It exposed the gap between preaching empowerment and actually creating conditions where people can thrive.

Yes, we are responsible for our own well-being. But there’s a difference between sharing wisdom with humility and preaching from a place of privilege. It’s the same problem with billionaires who insist that hard work alone determines success—tone-deaf, unempathetic, and cruel.

Research backs this up: when women’s empowerment is framed as an individual responsibility, women become less likely to engage in activism that could actually dismantle systemic barriers. Instead of advocating for union rights, paid parental leave, or humane work policies, women were told to focus on perfecting the exact right way to ask for a raise without being labeled “unlikeable.”

If you want a deeper dive into this research, Stefanie O’Connell Rodriguez’s recent discussion of the Ambition Penalty on the Money with Katie Show is very much worth a listen.

So yes, millennial women are fucking tired. We leaned in. We stepped up. But instead of being rewarded, many of us were punished for our effort, our ambition, and our willingness to play by rules that were never designed for us in the first place.

Millennials are Fed Up — and We’re Waking Up

There’s always a breaking point in any relationship built on gaslighting. And millennials are hitting that breaking point now. Gen Z saw the cracks early and opted out before buying in. Millennials, raised on the promise of stability through hard work, are finally waking up to the lie.

I see it everywhere. Ambitious classmates from my MBA program are burned out in prestigious corporate roles and quietly plotting their escape. Working parents are grinding through jobs for paychecks and benefits because our government provides no meaningful support or paid time off.

Corporate work has become a glorified servitude where you trade your time, energy, and health for the illusion of stability and access to discounted healthcare and retirement savings.

Even in tech—a field once glamorized for its perks and innovation—people are dreaming of leaving. But breaking out of the system is terrifying when you’ve spent your whole life being told that the “safe path” is the only path.

Constant layoffs, AI disruption, and chronic burnout have made it clear: we need an alternative way to live and work. And we need it now.

But not all hope is lost—because history has shown us that systems eventually tip when they become too extreme. As corporations double down on efficiency and automation, they pay a price. The more they squeeze, the more high performers and valuable talent walk away. And with AI leveling the playing field, many will start their own ventures—smaller, more human, more sustainable. Maybe the paycheck is lower at first, but the autonomy, balance, and alignment are worth more than any corporate comp package.

Society will have to adapt as more people choose solopreneurship and small business over corporate dependence. We need systems that support flexible work, accessible benefits, and economic stability. We need accountability from the 0.001% who profit from a structure that leaves everyone else depleted. Because the old model isn’t just outdated—it’s actively harming a generation that did everything “right.”

Millennials are waking up from the lies capitalism sold us. Now it’s on us to write a new blueprint—one that values health, agency, and dignity over mere survival. Changing systems built to benefit the powerful won’t be easy, but we owe it to ourselves—and to future generations—to fight for a more equitable world.

As we wrap up November and head into the last month of the year (how does time fly by so fast?), I wanted to share a few reflections. The November Reset exercises nudged me to walk down memory lane as part of my journey to process my experience with burnout. I hoped to understand my younger self better—to piece together clues, patterns, and past experiences that could inform who I am now and who I’m becoming.

So when I went home for Thanksgiving, I dug up the journals I kept from 6th grade through high school. It was interesting to revisit my teenage years through my own writing. A lot of the entries were cringey and dramatic (as expected from an angsty teenager), but I also found a new sense of understanding and compassion for younger Annie.

• Navigating identity and adapting to a new culture: The main theme of those years was defined by navigating a brand new world after immigrating from Taiwan—learning a new language, adjusting to a new culture, making friends from scratch, and processing everything through constant self-reflection and writing. I could see the evolution of teenage me through my observations of the world, and I gained a new appreciation for the struggles that younger Annie went through to become who I am today.

• Core passions that never changed: What surprised me most was how little my core has changed. It makes so much sense that I’m doing what I’m doing now. I was always writing, making art, and—even back then—building community. (I forgot I literally founded a high school club dedicated to “Asian Entertainment” because I was obsessed with K-pop and J-pop LOL.) It’s fascinating how often the answers to who we are now can be traced back to the beginning.

• Early clues of burnout and misalignment: I also noticed patterns I didn’t have words for back then—dissociating during family trauma, arguing with my (probably wiser) friend that money = happiness, and my hyper-focus on performing well and being “perfect.”

Going through my old stuff was such a surprisingly revealing exercise, and I now have a deeper understanding of how I got here. If you’re searching for clarity—about your purpose, your passions, or the origins of your current patterns—go through your old journals, notes, and photos. Your past self leaves breadcrumbs.

🌙 Week 4: Small Steps, Big Energy

Reflection is powerful—but transformation happens in small, gentle steps.

This week, let’s take what you’ve learned about yourself this month and turn it into something tangible that you can add to your burnout recovery toolkit.

✨ Reflection Prompt

Think back to your answers from Week 2’s manifesting exercise for your dream career.

What’s one small change that could bring you a little closer to that version of life or work?

Then ask yourself:

• What belief, fear, or practical barrier is keeping me from moving toward that version of work?

• What would make that change feel sustainable instead of stressful?

• What support or boundary might would make it possible?

💬 Share your reflection:

Comment with the one change you’re committing to this month—no matter how small. Progress doesn’t have to be loud to be real 🌱

🌿 Wrapping up the series

Over the past four weeks, we’ve explored balance, purpose, gratitude, and small steps. I hope this short reset has reminded you to prioritize yourself—even just a little.

If you’ve been following along, I’d love to hear what stood out most or what you’d like more of in future activities focused on burnout recovery or intentional career building. Feel free to comment or reply directly to this email.

I also have a few Burnout BFF projects in the works, and I’m curious what format you prefer for consuming deeper content (like interviews or thought pieces). If you have a second, please vote in the poll below 👇

Last week, we did a manifestation exercise where we imagined what work beyond survival looks like and wrote a letter from our future selves. This week, as we celebrate Thanksgiving with friends and family, let’s reflect on what we’re grateful for — especially what we’re grateful for within ourselves.

Neuroscience research shows that practicing gratitude helps regulate our nervous system and activates parts of the brain tied to positive emotion. Consistent gratitude work improves both mental and physical health — it can literally rewire the brain to strengthen positive neural pathways. I always find it wild that something as simple as a gratitude practice can have such a real impact on our mind and body.

But while it’s easy to express gratitude for what others do, we often neglect gratitude toward ourselves. This is especially true for high-functioning overachievers — we’re used to pushing, striving, and being self-critical to achieve our goals. Yet self-compassion is a crucial part of burnout recovery. I talked more about the importance of self-compassion in my Burnout Survival Guide ⬇️

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🌿 Week 3: Gratitude for Others and Yourself

✨ Reflection Prompt

As we head into Thanksgiving, it’s easy to list what we’re thankful for — but how often do we include ourselves on that list?

This week’s reflection is about appreciation: for others, as well as for who you are and how far you’ve come.

• What are 3 things (or people) you’re grateful for this month?

• What are 3 things about yourself you’re grateful for — qualities, efforts, or growth moments that deserve recognition?

Then ask yourself:

• Which list felt easier to write?

• What does that reveal about where your compassion naturally flows?

Practicing gratitude regularly is one of the simplest ways to shift your mood, mindset, and energy. Try doing this daily and notice what begins to change.

💬 Share your reflection:

Comment with one thing you’re grateful for about yourself.
Your insight might inspire someone else to see themselves with a little more kindness this week.

🌟 Community Reflections from Week 2: Work Beyond Survival

⭐ A letter from your future self, from a Burnout BFF:

Hey,

I’m writing to you from a place you used to dream about — and I want you to know that everything you hoped for finally makes sense now.

I’m working in a role where my days feel calm, balanced, and genuinely enjoyable. The environment is relaxed in the best way: flexible hours, a healthy culture, and a team that supports each other, creates real connections, and works in harmony. You no longer wake up with that heaviness — instead, mornings feel light, and you start your day without rushing or forcing yourself into a rhythm that never felt like yours.

The company I’m part of has the exact positive reputation you always wanted — warm, modern, respected, and kind. People here actually care. They value creativity, they value wellbeing, and they value me. And yes — international connections are now a natural part of my work. I’ve traveled, collaborated, learned, and grown through experiences you once hoped for but weren’t sure how to reach.

Financially, things feel different now. I earn enough to live comfortably, freely, and without the constant weight of financial worry. I can enjoy life. Money supports me now — it doesn’t control me.

The work itself feels meaningful. I feel proud of what I do. I’m productive, not because someone is watching or controling , but because I love the flow I’m in. And when I need rest, I take it — guilt-free — because the environment understands that real creativity requires real recovery.

I also feel strong, healthy, and full of positive energy, physically and mentally. My health supports me in everything I do. I wake up feeling refreshed, ready to take on the day with vitality, knowing I’m taking care of my body and mind every step of the way.

You would be proud of how much I’ve grown. I’ve become more skilled, more confident, and more aligned with the kind of professional you always envisioned. I work in a space that feels modern and alive — a place where taking a break, grabbing a coffee, or just breathing for a moment is part of the rhythm, not an interruption.

But one of the best parts is, I finally feel valued. Seen. Appreciated. I know that what I bring to the table matters. I am part of something that recognizes my worth — and I carry myself with a quiet confidence you spent years developing. I’m more disciplined and organized now.

Everything you’re going through right now isn’t a setback — it’s the foundation. Move toward a life and career that feels like yours…

Best and with love,

Your 2026 self ✨

I felt so much love reading this letter 💛 It’s full of hope, imagination, and compassion. I love how specific you were about how you want your days to feel instead of focusing on surface-level details. That’s the most effective way to channel your energy and let the universe meet you halfway.

My favorite line was: “Money supports me now — it doesn’t control me.”
So much of how we view work is shaped by fear and scarcity. We fixate on a number we think will make us feel secure — but that number always moves. Declaring that money no longer controls you is a powerful mindset to have.

I also loved that your future self said: “You would be proud of how much I’ve grown.”
It’s so important to recognize that working towards our vision is hard work. Self-affirmation is the heart of this exercise because it reinforces the positive mindset that helps attract abundance and opportunities into our lives.

I also did this exercise again myself (the last time was three years ago), and I learn something new every time. Back then, I had more specific criteria around salary and work environment. This time, my vision is rooted in how I want to feel because honestly, I have no idea where I’ll be a year from now. And that’s the point. You don’t need detailed answers, you just need intention to direct your attention and energy to the right place.

My hope is that a year from now, we revisit these letters and recognize how much we’ve grown — and how close we are to the life we envisioned.

💭 Next week: We’ll wrap up the month by turning insight into gentle action.

If you’re enjoying this series, subscribe to get next week’s prompt delivered straight to your inbox—and share it with a friend who might want to join the November Reset. It’s always more fun (and easier to stay accountable) when you do it together :)

Last week, we checked in on where we are on the burnout spectrum and reflected on our four non-negotiables. This week, I want to invite you to imagine your career or creative life—not from a place of burnout or pressure, but from freedom and possibility.

So many of us make work decisions based on fear, stability, or identity—shaped by the idea that success looks a certain way. But what happens when we imagine work without the pressure to simply survive? Giving yourself space to picture what your ideal career could look like is the first step toward creating it.

Personally, I turn to exercises like this whenever I’m in an uncertain chapter. Intentional writing (a.k.a. manifestation exercise) has been part of my career and life toolkit for years—helping me get my dream job in a tough market, recover from burnout at my lowest point, and navigate my most recent career pivot. Writing down your vision forces you to clarify what actually matters to you, and it primes your mind to move toward it. I shared more in this video about how intentional writing helped me land my dream job three years ago ⬇

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🌿 Week 2: Work Beyond Survival

✨ A Letter From Your Future Self

Imagine that money is no longer an issue—what does your dream career look like? How does that version of work support the life you want to live?

Now, write a letter from your future self (one year from now) who is already living that dream and doing work that fulfills you.

• Be specific about the criteria that matter to you—and why they matter. There’s a big difference between what you truly want (alignment) and what you think you’re supposed to want (fear-based conditioning).

• Describe how this work makes you feel. How does your dream career support the version of life you want to build?

• And don’t forget to acknowledge the hard work that the current you is doing. Gratitude—for yourself and for your journey—is an essential part of this exercise.

💬 Share your reflection:

What qualities do you want from your dream career? How did it feel to write a letter to yourself? Did anything surprise you?

Share your reflections in the comments or submit your response privately. I’ll feature a few reflections in next week’s letter so we can learn from one another. (Share by 11/21 to be included!)

Submit your reflection here

🌟 Community Reflections from Week 1: Check In — How Are You, Really?

Thank you to everyone who shared your reflections last week. I deeply appreciate the honesty and thoughtfulness you brought to this exercise. Featuring two responses that stood out:

⭐ On rating the four non-negotiables — From a Burnout BFF currently on leave to recover from burnout:

Eat - 5. On leave, I’ve had the time and energy to actually shop, cook, and try out new recipes for fun and pleasure. I found that while I was stressed out with work, it was easy to just order takeout, and eat junk food to self-soothe, but that inevitably came with guilt.

Sleep - 4. Historically I’d find myself dreading going to bed / waking up in the morning, so I developed horrible habits with doomscrolling before bed. This often meant that although I’d go to bed at 11:30pm, I don’t actually end up getting to sleep until 1-2am. On leave, I’ve been sticking to a 11pm-8am sleep schedule, with minimal screen time before bed.

Move - 3. While I was working, this was at a 1 (or even 0). Like you, this was the first thing to go; for me it required the most effort, and had the least amount of gratification. I am making progress here, incorporating light 1 mile jogs and 30 mins of weight training 2-3 times a week.

Play - 5. Work typically kept me from spending time on the things I enjoy, and even when I did have the time, I’d lost the interest. While on leave, I’ve been watching tv, playing video games, and spending time with friends.

I love how clearly you articulated the shift between life before and during your leave. It’s amazing to see how taking a break is already reshaping your habits and daily rhythm. My scores and experiences were really similar to yours when I was burned out — too drained to cook, dreading the next workday, feeling anxious before bed, and losing interest in the hobbies that usually bring me joy. I experienced a similar reset during my own medical leave, and it made me realize that whatever I do in the future can’t come at the expense of these core areas of my life. I’m excited to see what else you uncover and reconnect with during this time.

⭐ On how work affects non-negotiable scores — From a Burnout BFF who recently started a new job after recovering from burnout:

I would say move has the lowest score right now, only because I’m in an ‘in-between’ season of summer where I like to swim a lot and winter where I like to ski a lot. These days, I’m really happy to say that my work schedule isn’t affecting that at all and it’s solely my choosing to deprioritize move.

I’d say what’s actually affecting my ‘move’ score’ is my improved focus on eating well by cooking more homemade meals, sleeping better by getting a minimum of 7 to 8 non-negotiable hours per night, and playing by spending more time on my previously forgotten about self-care hobbies (legos, relaxing in my hot tub, and video games). That said, I know that this particular season of ‘move’ being a little lower will even out in the winter months for me when I spend a lot of time skiing.

What I’ve learned through burning out is that even if one of these non-negotiables is slightly less prioritized at any given point than the others 1.) the choice needs to be entirely on my terms (e.g. not due to factors like work constantly taking me away from these non-negotiables as it did in the past) and 2.) it’s all about balance and if I feel happy with where my overall non-negotiables sit at any point, that’s the key for me. I’d say I like aiming for an overall 3 and above in these key areas.

I love that you honor the natural rhythm of life — that some seasons naturally support movement more than others. Winter is always my hardest season for movement too, and it’s a good reminder that this makes sense when we think about how animals hibernate in nature during this time. Your framing of “overall balance” and making sure your choices are on your terms is such a healthy approach. I’m going to start adopting that mindset for myself as well :)

💭 Next week: We’ll slow down for a gratitude exercise—one that includes you in the list.

If you’re enjoying this series, subscribe to get next week’s prompt delivered straight to your inbox—and share it with a friend who might want to join the November Reset. It’s always more fun (and easier to stay accountable) when you do it together :)

The holiday season is upon us, and many of us could use a little reset—a chance to reflect on how we want to approach our careers so we can start the new year with less burnout and more intention.

Every Sunday in November, I’ll share a short reflection prompt to help us explore how our work habits, beliefs, and choices contribute to burnout—and what true alignment means to each of us.

This series is designed to be low-stress and low-time commitment (because let’s be real—if you’re burned out, you already have enough on your plate). Each week, I’ll feature a few community reflections in the next letter so we can learn from one another’s experiences.

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🪞 Week 1: Check In — How Are You, Really?

November kicks off the holiday season—and the scramble to wrap up projects before the year ends. But before we dive into year-end goals or gratitude lists, let’s pause for a moment.

How are you really doing—physically, mentally, and emotionally?

When we’re burned out, it’s usually because one or two of our non-negotiables are out of alignment. I wrote more about the four non-negotiables in my Burnout Survival Guide:

It’s easy to move through the weeks on autopilot, especially when work feels relentless. This week’s reflection is about checking in with your basic needs and noticing how work might be affecting them.

✨ Reflection Prompt

Score yourself 1–5 on the four non-negotiables in life:

🍎 Eat | 😴 Sleep | 🏃‍♀️ Move | 🎨 Play

Then ask yourself:

• Which area has the lowest score right now?

• How is your work (or schedule) affecting that area?

• What would it look like to raise that score by even one point?

💬 Share your reflection by 11/14:

Share your insights in the comments, or write your reflection privately here if that feels better.

The goal of this exercise isn’t perfection; it’s simply to pause, check in with yourself, and reflect on the four non-negotiables in your life.

I’ve found that when I let my thoughts flow freely on paper, I often uncover things I didn’t realize I was feeling. You might be surprised by what comes up, too.

🪞Your turn: How are your non-negotiables feeling right now? Post in the comments or submit your response privately so we can learn from each other. I’ll feature a few reflections in next week’s letter. (Share by 11/14 to be included!)

💭 Next week: We’ll explore what meaningful work looks like when you remove the pressure to simply survive.

If you’re enjoying this series, subscribe to get next week’s prompt delivered straight to your inbox—and share it with a friend who might want to join the November Reset. It’s always more fun (and easier to stay accountable) when you do it together :)

I asked everyone:
“What’s been the hardest part of dealing with burnout for you?”
The responses really moved me because I could resonate with all of them. I asked a few people if I could share theirs anonymously, because they capture what burnout really feels like.

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The hardest part of dealing with burnout for me has been the shame I felt initially with having to explain to others—friends, family, colleagues—that I burned out. It caused me to take a medical leave, and then I left my job at the end of that leave. Although I know it was the right move for me personally and it’s done wonders for me since, the embarrassment was hard to overcome.

Connecting with others who have experienced similar and normalizing that there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with me that caused this to happen—it’s really the way corporate/tech life is set up that can cause anyone to burn out—has been so helpful in rewriting my narrative around the embarrassment and shame I once felt. Now I’m really proud to own my story and the career pivot I’m making. But it’s been a hard journey to get here.

— Full-time employee, tech

This sums up so much of what I felt when I went through burnout myself. It’s one thing to know you need to take care of yourself, and it’s another to have to justify it to people who might not understand.

I recently talked about why I don’t take people’s advice anymore for the exact same reason:

Choosing yourself, even when it doesn’t make sense to others, takes a lot of courage. The irony is that society often labels this kind of choice as “weak,” “selfish,” or “lazy,” when in reality it’s an act of strength and empowerment. There’s a reason airplane safety instructions tell us to put on our own oxygen masks first—because we can’t show up for others if we’re constantly sacrificing our own well-being.

Overcoming burnout taught me how deeply we internalize narratives that place blame on the individuals, when the system itself was never designed with our well-being in mind. I’m so proud of you for reclaiming your voice and choosing alignment over expectation.

The shame and guilt of feeling like a failure. It’s an incredibly isolating feeling, especially when you’re surrounded by high achievers and have traditionally always been one. Separating my self-worth from my career status is something I still work on every day.

— Self-employed, entertainment

This captures the struggles of the high-achiever identity so well. As someone who once measured success by job titles and income (hello, MBA life), I totally relate. Corporate life and hustle culture have long taught us that our worth equals our output. But the truth is that we have nothing to prove.

Only recently have I started unlearning those dysfunctional definitions of success— money, titles, status—and realizing that fulfillment comes from something much simpler: health, community, and purpose. When I look at many people in positions of power today, I don’t see those traits. And honestly, I neither respect nor aspire to be like them.

Unlearning deeply rooted beliefs takes time. For me, actively seeking out people and community that are living unconventional lives and pursuing their truths really help remind me that I’m not alone, and that there’s not “one way” to be successful or happy. It’s something I still have to consciously practice every day. And I hope we all give ourselves grace in that process.

The hardest part of dealing with burnout for me has been feeling disconnected from what I do. I work a typical 8–5 corporate job, but I often feel like I don’t belong in this kind of environment. Waking up early, spending my energy on someone else’s goals, and not feeling appreciated for what I contribute has made me lose motivation.

It’s not just physical tiredness—it’s the emotional exhaustion of realizing I want something more meaningful and aligned with who I really am. I believe that in 2025, we no longer need to follow these traditional work models that originated in the industrial era. I’ve always wanted more flexibility and freedom in how I work.

At the same time, I’ve never been the kind of person who avoids responsibilities or waits for direction. I’m punctual, proactive, and responsible. For me, freedom or flexibility doesn’t mean carelessness or lack of discipline; it means having the space to do my best work in a way that feels natural and meaningful.

And if I ever get tired, I want it to be from doing something I genuinely love—something that truly matters to me, not just a job that pays the bills.

— Full-time employee, social media designer

This response could have been written by me. I resonate so much with your philosophy about work, freedom, and autonomy. What truly burned me out wasn’t the workload—it was being in a system that didn’t value creative autonomy or align with my values.

And you’re so right: people who burn out are not exhausted because we’re “lazy” or “weak.” We’re often responsible, ambitious high performers who simply outgrow systems that no longer fit us. We know we deserve better, but we feel trapped. It’s not a lack of resilience that leads to burnout—it’s misalignment.

“And if I ever get tired, I want it to be from doing something I genuinely love”—
YES. Being tired from doing what you love hits different. Now that I’m pursuing work aligned with my purpose and passion, I think about it constantly—but it doesn’t feel like work. Even when I’m tired, every minute feels meaningful instead of draining.

I also love what you said about modern work models. Society built systems with rigid rules about how and when to work, even though everyone thrives differently. Technology (and now AI) has lowered so many barriers that we no longer need to follow outdated structures just to make a living. I truly believe that within the next decade, self-employment and creative, flexible careers will become the norm.

Launching the November Burnout BFF Community Reflection Series

Thank you to everyone who filled out the Burnout BFF Community survey and shared your stories. Reading your words reminded me that none of us are alone in feeling this way. Sometimes, all we need is a space for honest conversations to help normalize the burnout experience.

According to the survey, 85% of you said you want more resources on career transitions and intentional career planning. So this November, I’m launching something new—an Intentional Career Reflection Series.

Every Sunday in November, I’ll share a short prompt to help us reflect on how our work habits, beliefs, and choices contribute to burnout—and what alignment truly means to us.

This series is designed to be low-stress and low-time commitment (because let’s be real—if you’re burned out, you already have enough on your plate). Each week, I’ll feature a few reflections from the community in the next letter so we can learn from each other’s experiences.

If you’d like to join the Burnout BFF Community, subscribe and look out for the first prompt dropping this Sunday!

Since sharing my burnout story, the #1 question I get is about medical leave. So, here’s my step-by-step breakdown for anyone considering leave due to burnout.

This guide builds on the first part of my Burnout Survival Guide. If you haven’t read that yet, start there to assess where you fall on the burnout spectrum and whether it might be time to step away.

I’m a big advocate for taking leave in any form because our bodies and minds need time to reset from stress. Unfortunately, not everyone is privileged to work somewhere that offers sabbaticals or encourages time off. In reality, if you’re considering leave, you might be in a culture that actively discourages it. That’s where medical leave becomes essential.

With layoffs, toxic leadership, and uncertainty everywhere, we need space to regulate our nervous system and think clearly. Trying to job hunt or make major life decisions while burned out is rarely a winning strategy.

I want to share my own experience because the process can feel opaque, overwhelming, and anxiety-inducing—especially when you’re already at a low point.

Disclaimer: This is my experience. I was working at a big tech company in California, and your situation may differ based on location, employer, and policies. This is exactly why I’m building Burnout BFF: a safe space for people to share their experiences and eventually create a more comprehensive guide. For now, I hope this is helpful.

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1) Know your rights

In the U.S., the Family & Medical Leave Act (FMLA) allows up to 12 weeks off for health reasons, with job protection. Some states also offer paid medical leave. In California, you can receive Short-Term Disability (a portion of your paycheck) with a doctor’s note.

If you’ve been employed at your job for 12+ months, you’re likely eligible. Remember—you often pay into these benefits, so there’s no shame in using them to protect your health.

2) Contact your leave administrator / HR

Check your company’s leave policy and reach out to HR or your leave administrator. They’ll guide you through timelines, forms, and available benefits.

It can feel intimidating to reach out and share your plans, but your medical details are confidential. Most managers will only know that you’re taking leave—not the specifics. And future employers won’t have access to this information unless you choose to disclose it.

3) Work with a medical provider

Book time with a doctor, therapist, or psychologist ASAP. They’ll document your condition and complete the forms needed for leave.

This step can take the longest since not every provider handles FMLA paperwork, and your company may have specific requirements for who can complete forms for paid leave. Building a relationship with your provider early will make the process smoother.

A note from my experience: you may need multiple appointments with your provider to get all the paperwork filled out and approved—especially for paid leave—and costs can add up quickly depending on your insurance (thanks, American healthcare system).

4) Prioritize your health over performance

If you’re considering medical leave, you’re likely already deep into burnout. This is the time to heal. Trying to “wrap things up” or “leave things perfect” before stepping away defeats the purpose.

I felt the same pressure before going on leave, but looking back, I realize I should have focused on recovery instead of worrying about being “a good employee.”

If a physical condition kept you from working, you wouldn’t push through. Mental health deserves the same standard.

Say “no” to work expectations and “yes” to recovery.

5) Regulate your nervous system

Taking leave can bring up shame, guilt, or anxiety. Going through burnout is an attack on your nervous system and can often feel like trauma. Give yourself grace and focus on the four non-negotiables: sleep, eat, move, and play.

If you’re used to filling your days with constant productivity, slowing down will feel uncomfortable. But for now, your only job is rest. During my first month on leave, I focused exclusively on the basics—and it was necessary.

If you want to see exactly how I recovered from burnout during my leave, I wrote about what I did here.

6) Plan for change before you return

Before returning from leave, reflect on what needs to shift—boundaries, workload, role, expectations, or even your employer.

Consider both external conditions and internal narratives. Recovery is not just “time off”—it’s about restructuring your life and rewriting old patterns to prevent burnout from happening again.

If you plan to leave, review your finances and create a realistic exit plan.

7) Advocate for yourself

If you decide to leave due to discrimination or mishandling of your leave, you may be entitled to compensation. Document everything and consult an employment lawyer. I’ve heard of cases settling for the equivalent of ~4 months of severance.

At the same time, be intentional about how much energy you’re willing to spend dealing with your employer. Advocating for yourself is important, but sometimes protecting your mental energy is just as crucial.

This isn’t a comprehensive guide—it’s just my experience. If you notice anything I’m missing or have advice to add, please leave a comment so I can expand the guide!

Taking medical leave saved my career. I went from dreading waking up every day to feeling excited to build something I’m truly passionate about. I’ve heard similar stories from others who also prioritized their health, which is why I’m such a strong advocate for taking leave when you need it. For more burnout resources, check out my Burnout Survival Guide.

I’m also building a supportive community for burned-out and badass people to recover, reconnect with their potential, and rebuild intentional careers. If that resonates, join the Burnout BFF Community waitlist!

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When Burnout Meets Serendipity

Last week, I went to my first writing retreat—something that would’ve felt completely unfathomable to my burned-out corporate self just a few months ago. Not only did the retreat itself feel like a dream, but the path that led me there was filled with small, serendipitous moments that I could never have planned.

It all started in June 2025. I had recently moved to Seattle—exhausted but cautiously hopeful after recovering from a deep burnout from my job in big tech.

I was so drained that I made a commitment to myself: I would only do things that felt healing to my inner creative. Corporate politics and meaningless tasks had sucked the soul out of me, and after reading The Artist’s Way, I decided to find myself again through art.

Saying Yes to Creativity Again

I started small—signing up for makerspace workshops at the library, planning outings around free museum days, taking a handbuilding pottery class, and researching every local art nonprofit I could find. That’s when I learned about Seattle’s monthly art walks—where you wander through galleries, look at art, and…socialize?

The thing is, I love art and museums, but I had no idea what you’re actually supposed to do in a gallery. Whenever I passed one, I’d peek inside but never go in—curious but indimidated. It also didn’t help that they were usually empty, and I’d feel awkward just standing there pretending I knew what I was looking at.

As an introvert used to hiding behind screens and Zoom meetings, going to an in-person event alone took some effort—and a pep talk. In my head, art walks were filled with fabulously dressed artists sipping wine and saying profound things about brushstrokes—definitely not my usual vibe. But I had promised myself I’d try, and I needed new friends in a new city. So I sucked it up and went.

Little did I know that stepping out of my comfort zone that night would open a whole new chapter for me.

Spotting a Kindred Spirit

At first, I did what any anxious introvert would in an unfamiliar setting: hovered near the snack table, nibbling free cheese cubes in the corner. But eventually, I warmed up—and my old MBA networking skills kicked in.

I found myself chatting about astrology and energy with a spirited art collector (he was a Pisces), learning from a curator how artists sell their work at local cafés, buying a zine from a Gen Z artist who reminded me of my younger self, and talking to a guy with long purple hair who did puppetry. It was unexpectedly fun—but after a few hours, I was ready to wander off on my own. That’s when I stumbled upon Christiana.

She immediately caught my eye: live-painting an oil piece (a medium I’ve always wanted to try) and an Asian woman openly creating art in public—something I rarely saw, coming from a social circle mostly made up of friends in corporate jobs.

We started talking, and it clicked right away. We both came from tech, both burned out under toxic management, both left to rediscover ourselves through creativity. She was warm, open, and felt like someone I’d known for years.

The Invitation

We met for coffee a few weeks later and dove into a deep conversation about work, art, identity, and healing. We shared frustrations as Asian women trying to survive in systems that were never built for us. But we also connected over the joy of rediscovering our creative sides—and the courage it takes to start again.

We both love art in all kinds of mediums, and I was inspired by how fully Christiana invested in her creative life—from visual art and music to photography and film—always seeking, and sometimes building, her own little creative community along the way. The experiences weren’t always smooth, but they were full of interesting stories and lessons. I shared that same desire: to explore and find my own community of people who are committed to building an intentional and creative life.

And that’s when she told me she was organizing a small writing retreat with a few like-minded women—and invited me to join as the fourth member.

I was stunned. Just weeks earlier, I was researching art residencies and dreaming about someday building up enough of a portfolio to apply. Now, here I was being invited—no application, no approval process—just genuine connection.

It felt like the universe winking at me.

Redefining “Real”

Writing retreats had always felt like something reserved for people in MFA programs or academia. I had always dreamed of being a writer but told myself it wasn’t practical—that it wouldn’t pay the bills. So I consumed other writers’ memoirs instead of writing my own.

It’s funny how we build these constructs around identity—as if we’re not “real” writers or artists unless someone else says so, or unless we’re making money from it. I’ve been writing poetry and drawing manga since I was five, yet somehow I never allowed myself to claim that identity. The truth is simple: if we make art, we are artists.

Still, I caught myself calling myself an aspiring writer. Being invited to that retreat helped shatter that narrative. Christiana reminded me that we don’t need permission from institutions or systems. If we want to create, we can simply gather and do it.

It sounds obvious, but after years in corporate, it’s a hard mindset to unlearn. We’re taught to polish résumés, mask ourselves in interviews, and prove our worth through performance reviews. That’s how we’re conditioned to believe success works.

But this journey—my “reinvention gap year”—keeps showing me otherwise.

The Lesson the Universe Keeps Sending

Sometimes just being yourself is enough. You don’t need to chase validation or wait for permission. Opportunities come when you lead with curiosity and genuine connection—and when you follow what lights you up.

I’m not an “aspiring” anything anymore.

I am a writer and an artist.

And this was only the beginning.

This is Part 1 of Burnout BFF Presents: Life After Tech—my stories from leaving corporate tech to explore a creative career✨ In Part 2, I’ll share how a small writing retreat taught me to trust my voice, be vulnerable, and find community through creativity. Subscribe and drop a comment if you want to join me for Part 2!

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From Stressed-Out Corporate Girlie to Burnout BFF

Turns out my burnout era wasn’t a phase — it was my origin story.

Three months ago, I left my tech career after taking a 12-week medical leave for burnout.

When I quit, I didn’t have a clear plan. I just knew I wanted to follow my creative passions and reclaim my voice by telling the truth about what I’d been through.

Maybe I’d write. Maybe I’d make art. Maybe I’d join a nonprofit for a cause I care about.

What I didn’t expect was for my burnout story to go viral on LinkedIn, be featured in Business Insider, and connect me with so many incredible people who resonated with my writing.

Burnout literally became a part of my identity — and honestly, I’m not mad about it.

They say not to let your trauma define you. Unfortunately, I hate being told what to do, so I decided to do exactly the opposite.

And funnily enough, my adulthood can basically be defined by a series of mini burnouts. It’s been a running joke among my friends that I’m perpetually overwhelmed and tired. I just didn’t expect my dream job in big tech to be what finally pushed me over the edge.

They say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So instead of fighting it, I decided to fully embrace this part of me.

Because going through burnout didn’t just break me — it helped me find my purpose: to use my voice and writing to raise awareness about burnout and advocate for healthier workplaces.

Burnout was the lowest point in my career, but it also gave me clarity, purpose, and fuel for my voice.

So I decided to fully embrace Burnout BFF as a mission:

• 🗣 Raise awareness & de-stigmatize burnout — yes, I’ll keep talking about it until the world takes it seriously.

• 💛 Be a friend, not a coach — no sugarcoating or corporate BS, just real care for your well-being.

• 🚀 Help people reclaim their potential — rebuild intentional, sustainable careers that align with who they are.

From Burnout Stories to Building Community

As I’ve gotten more comfortable sharing my honest thoughts on burnout, the state of work, and mental health, I realized something else: I’m just one person with one story. There are so many others who’ve experienced burnout and have their own valuable perspectives to share.

I’ve spoken with people from all walks of burnout:

• Those who left corporate careers to pursue coaching, therapy, art, or other meaningful callings.

• People who burned out in toxic workplaces and successfully negotiated packages after medical leave.

• Burned-out parents stuck in corporate jobs while balancing mortgages and childcare.

• High-performing women managing chronic illnesses while navigating complex medical and disability insurance.

• Someone who went through a legal battle with their employer over discrimination.

Each story carries powerful lessons — and reminds us that we’re not alone.

I’ve thought a lot about how I want to approach burnout in a way that aligns with who I am, and two things stand out:

1. Sharing authentic, personal stories of burnout to spread awareness.

2. Connecting a community of burned-out (and badass) people — because together we feel less alone and more empowered.

I’m already doing #1. Now, I’m figuring out #2.

Because I believe in the power of community: not just as a source of connection, but as a way to challenge systems that were never designed with our well-being in mind.

Many of you have told me you’re craving the same thing: a safe space for people who’ve experienced burnout to support each other and explore more sustainable, fulfilling careers.

I’ve been brainstorming with a few amazing folks who share the Burnout BFF mission on how we can help more people prioritize their health at work — and I can’t wait to share what’s coming next.

If this resonates, please take 2 minutes to fill out the Burnout BFF Community Survey.

I’m also looking to chat with people for feedback and ideas about what would make this community most helpful — so reach out if you’d like to share your thoughts! 💛

And if you’re just here along for the ride, subscribe to stay updated on Burnout BFF and my journey toward building a more intentional, fulfilling career.

Three months ago, I quit my high-paying PMM job in big tech after burning out. I decided to pivot away from an industry I’d worked hard to break into for the past decade (I shared more about that decision here). Since then, I’ve been experimenting with what a portfolio career could look like, because I believe it’s the long-term career path that truly allows me to embrace my multi-faceted interests and potential.

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I’m being very intentional about how I approach my gap year: I will only work on projects that align with my values, even if that means turning away paid opportunities.

When I share this with people who reached out after reading my burnout story, the reactions are often: “That’s an extreme decision.” or “Good for you, but I could never do that.”

I get it. In a volatile job market, quitting a stable job in pursuit of a gap year sounds risky. But I also think this default fear response can sometimes do more harm than good—especially if it keeps people stuck in environments that are actively burning them out.

Of course, financial needs are real. In corporate America, 9–5 is still the most accessible way to earn a stable income and secure benefits, especially if you’re supporting a family. I have a lot of thoughts about why tying universal rights to employment is problematic (which I shared in this LinkedIn post), but that’s a conversation for another day.

I’m privileged to have enough of a safety net that I can choose autonomy over a paycheck (which is also the result of years of intentional decisions), and I think my story resonates with many mid-career professionals who have savings but feel trapped in burnout, unable to step away. There’s a reason why “quiet cracking” is now a widespread phenomenon.

For me, a gap year is the clearest path toward building what I call my “lazy girl boss career” because I know myself and how I work. Here’s why I see this year not as a pause, but as a long-term career investment:

1. We need space to reset, learn, and experiment.

Innovation and clarity only happen when we create space for them.

I recently heard a phrase that stuck with me: “To go three steps forward, you first need to go three steps deep.”

This came from Jay Shetty’s conversation with Emma Watson, where she opened up about why she stepped away at the height of her acting career. After experiencing health issues that stemmed from burnout, she chose to leave the spotlight—a decision that allowed her to redefine success, trust her intuition, and pursue work aligned with her values. Her story resonated deeply with me.

Time also creates space to heal, reset, and break patterns. Without it, we risk repeating the same mistakes. That’s why I’ve always believed in taking time after a breakup before jumping into a new relationship. The same applies to my career: pausing to reflect is what makes room for something better.

Even top tech companies understand this. That’s why they run hackathons and carve out time for employees to build what excites them. Google’s 20% time, Atlassian’s ShipIt days, and similar programs at Meta and Adobe have all led to innovative products people use every day.

If companies give their employees dedicated time to experiment, why wouldn’t I do the same for myself and my own career?

2. Focus on the opportunity cost instead of sunk cost.

Letting go of what you’ve built is scary. Loss aversion is deeply human. But reframing big decisions through opportunity cost vs. sunk cost has helped me approach change with more optimism.

The sunk cost fallacy reminds us not to keep investing in something just because of past effort. The smarter move is to make decisions that serve future you.

When I decided to quit, friends and family encouraged me to “coast until a layoff” or “build something on the side.” That advice might work for some people—but I know myself too well to believe it would work for me. After a decade in corporate, I’ve learned that people often give well-intentioned but ill-fitted advice. The key is knowing yourself well enough to filter what actually applies.

For me, the opportunity cost of staying in a role that drained me was simply too high. I knew I’d never have the energy to build something meaningful after a 9–5. I’m an all-in-or-all-out type of person, so I chose to go all in.

3. A chance to break patterns and practice mindset shifts.

My 20s were all about chasing milestones—career success, pay bumps, degrees, relationships, travel. It was exciting but exhausting, and eventually led me to burnout.

In my 30s, I don’t want to chase anymore. I want to be. I want to attract, not pursue.

But shifting deeply ingrained habits is hard. It’s easier to hide behind a paycheck, structure, and routine. Taking this gap year forces me to confront the fears behind those patterns. In a way, it feels like exposure therapy for my career.

Taking a gap year means I no longer have excuses to not pursue what I’ve always wanted:

• “If only I had more time.” → Well, now I literally have all the time in the world.

• “If only I could figure out how to monetize my interests.” → Without a consistent paycheck, I have no choice but to try.

• “If only I could live the life I want.” → I landed what used to be my dream job and still burned out. So why not test a different path?

It’s a little extreme, but sometimes that’s exactly what it takes to rewire old patterns and let go of limiting beliefs that no longer serve us.

4. It’s a two-way door decision.

Amazon uses this framework to assess big risks:

• One-way door decisions are permanent and high-stakes (like having a child).

• Two-way door decisions are reversible, lower-risk, and great for experimentation.

To me, a gap year is a two-way door. One year might feel long, but in the span of a career, it’s short. And if I decide I want another 9–5 later, I can always find one.

In fact, most decisions we fear are actually two-way doors in disguise if we take a step back and reflect. So if you’re already curious about what’s on the other side of the door, why not just walk through and find out? You might be pleasantly surprised by the view.

5. Mid-career is actually the perfect time to reset.

Early in my career, I often heard the advice: “pivot when you’re young, because it’ll be harder later.” I used to believe that, but now I hold a different opinion—your 30s can actually be the best time to pivot.

By this point, most of us have built a strong foundation of transferable skills and resources—knowledge, experience, savings, and networks—that we can carry into something new. We’re not truly “starting over,” we’re building on a decade of momentum.

At the same time, we are still young enough to put in the work required to pivot into new career paths. There’s an idea originated from Malcolm Gladwell that mastery takes about 10,000 hours—or roughly 10 years. This means that if you pivot at 30, you could hit another peak by 40. How exciting is that?

And honestly, age is not a limiting factor. There are countless stories of people reinventing themselves in their 40s, 50s, even 70s. The mindset of “it’s never too late” might just be the most important ingredient in building a fulfilling life.

Why I’m Sharing This

You don’t need to quit your job to try these approaches. My philosophy is simply to know yourself deeply, and make choices that align with how you thrive. Sometimes, getting what we want in life requires taking risks—but reframing those risks can make decisions easier and help us avoid regret.

Lately, I’ve been meeting more and more mid-career professionals who feel the same: burned out from corporate, questioning the ladder, and exploring portfolio careers. The more conversations I have, the more I realize how important it is to build a community for people walking the unconventional path.

That’s why I’ve been running a small MVP with a few folks for the Burnout BFF Community—and I’d love your input.

👉 If you’re burned out by corporate life and curious about building a more intentional, portfolio-style career, please take 2 minutes to fill out the Burnout BFF Community survey.

My mission with Burnout BFF is to create a space that makes this journey a little less lonely for all of us. If this resonates, subscribe to get updates on the community and follow along with my gap year experiment!

I began writing as a way to process burnout, to rediscover creativity, and to reclaim my voice from a job that stripped it away. Sharing my story publicly was an act of defiance against silencing myself in a dysfunctional system. I was done letting fear and imposter syndrome dictate what I do. I’ve always believed art has the power to heal, connect, and spark change - and if my writing touches even one person, that alone makes it worthwhile.

So when Business Insider reached out to interview and feature my story, I was shocked. What followed was a roller coaster of emotions: fear of being “known,” doubt about my decisions, pride in my accomplishment, anxiety about how my story would be received, frustration at the lack of transparency in the media process, anger at comments laced with racism and misogyny, and - most moving of all - gratitude for the outpouring support from people I’ve never met.

Through it all, one thing I can say for sure is that I am doing work that makes me feel alive again. And I am already learning so much in the first 60 days of my creative solopreneur journey.

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Truth has power, honesty resonates, authenticity shines

I shared my burnout story because I believe in the power of truth and transparency. One of the biggest reasons I burned out at my last job was the constant silencing - swallowing my voice just to survive in a system that punished different work styles and perspectives. The lack of psychological safety slowly wore me down until I finally broke.

After that, I made myself a promise: I will no longer compromise my values or integrity for a paycheck. I need to be able to show up as my authentic self - because that’s when I can do my best work and reach my full potential.

What I’ve learned from sharing my story publicly is that honesty resonates. People are drawn to those who are real. Living your truth out loud isn’t just freeing for yourself, it’s inspiring for others too.

A perfect example of this is Cardi B, who has completely won the internet over just by being unapologetically herself. If you’ve seen clips of her in the courtroom, you know what I mean - she’s hilarious, candid, and real. People love her because she doesn’t pretend to be someone else. And in an era increasingly shaped by AI, human authenticity feels more valuable than ever.

Passion + Strengths = Superpower

For most of my life, I didn’t buy into the idea that you should “follow your passion” as a career strategy. In college, I watched my engineering friends earn double my salary while I hustled in low-paying fashion and retail jobs, chased deadlines as a newspaper journalist, and slogged through unpaid marketing internships. Eventually, I landed in tech because stability mattered.

But deep down, I envied people who built careers around what they loved. Now that I’ve committed to following my heart and pursuing a creative path, I finally understand the saying: “When you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.”

Back then, when I was working on projects that didn’t matter to me, even the easiest days felt painfully long. Now, I wake up energized and brimming with ideas. My work flows easily because it draws on my natural strengths. Learning new skills feels exciting instead of draining. The results are rewarding, but the real gift is finding joy in the process itself.

It took three decades of trial and error, but I finally found my superpower. And it was worth the wait.

Stop playing small and start thinking big

When I first quit, my plan was modest: apply for entry-level roles in nonprofits or the arts as a way to pivot into new fields. But once I began sharing my work publicly, connecting with other creators and solopreneurs, and exploring unconventional paths, I realized just how much corporate life had conditioned me to think small.

If I want to try something, I don’t need permission. I don’t need a manager’s approval, a certificate, or a title. I can just start, learn in real time, iterate, and try again.

Being featured in Business Insider was a powerful reminder: I don’t need validation from systems that were never built for me. Living authentically and pursuing my purpose will take me further than any traditional path ever could. The only real limit is my imagination.

I say all this while still experimenting and figuring it out as I go. But for the first time in a long time, I feel genuinely excited to let go of control and embrace the unknown. Which, honestly, feels wild coming from a recovering perfectionist and former control freak (Virgo season, anyone?).

P.S. To those who feel burned out in your career and craving to pursue your creative passions, I’m cooking up something exciting around community that I can’t wait to share - and I’d love your feedback. Stay tuned (and subscribe if you haven’t) to be the first to hear about it!

This is Part 3 of the Burnout Survival Guide: A toxic job can break your spirit the same way a toxic relationship can break your heart.

In Part 2 of the Burnout Survival Guide, I talked about the internal narratives that contribute to burnout. And while it’s important to understand our own tendencies and beliefs, we also need to stay alert to the external factors and systemic issues in our environment that worsen stress at work.

If you’re going through burnout, you probably already know something is off in your workplace. These external factors might include a toxic company culture, misaligned projects, dysfunctional leadership, or stressful macro-trends. Recognizing these external contributors is key to avoiding the same patterns in future roles.

The 4 Workplace Burnout Traps

There are four main categories of external factors that can drive burnout - some more severe than others. Personally, I hit a breaking point when all four were present at once.

1. The Toxic Culture Trap

This is the number one trap because it does the most long-term damage to our health. Stress is one thing, but daily immersion in a toxic culture can push you over the edge. I experienced “mini-burnouts” earlier in my career, but it wasn’t until I was part of a toxic team culture that I truly hit a breaking point.

Being in a toxic workplace is like being in an abusive relationship. You notice red flags but dismiss them, and before you know it, you’re trapped too deep to leave easily. Toxic culture can look like:

• Unsupportive managers with unrealistic expectations and no resources

• Micromanagers who see employees as order-takers rather than creative contributors

• Leaders who mistreat or sabotage team members to make themselves look good

• No psychological safety, where whistleblowers or dissenters are punished

• Teams that consistently disrespect boundaries, expecting responsiveness even on vacation

Just like in an abusive relationship, toxic workplaces make you question your worth and competence. They gaslight you into thinking you are the problem, setting you up with impossible workloads and then punishing you for not meeting expectations.

Toxic leadership thrives on fear and uncertainty. You never know if your work is good enough or if speaking up will backfire. Over time, you silence yourself. You shrink. And eventually, your mental and physical health erodes.

If you’re caught in a toxic culture trap, the best option is to leave. You can’t fix a problem that starts at the top. The healthiest choice is to prioritize yourself, listen to your body, and trust your intuition when red flags appear.

2. The Misaligned Role Trap

Sometimes burnout isn’t about toxic management at all - it’s about fit. Maybe your role doesn’t align with your interests, or you’ve been assigned projects outside your strengths. While this is less about survival and more about career growth, the mismatch still wears you down over time.

This is especially common if you chose a career path based on external expectations instead of what energizes you. The sweet spot is where interests, strengths, and income intersect. Many settle for two of the three - but if none are present, burnout is inevitable.

Work style also plays a role. If you’re an extrovert who craves in-person collaboration, a fully remote job may leave you drained. If you’re an introvert who needs deep-focus time but are stuck in back-to-back meetings, exhaustion builds quickly. These might not seem like deal breakers at first, but over time, they add to chronic stress and can push you into burnout.

Figuring out your preferred role and work style can take time. It took me years of trial and error to define my ideal role and work environment.

3. The Dysfunctional Leadership Trap

Disorganized or visionless leadership often lays the groundwork for toxic culture. Even if you don’t interact with senior leaders daily, their decisions trickle down and shape your work.

You may be in this trap if you notice:

• Disorganized leadership with shifting priorities and constant re-orgs

• Uncertainty about the company’s future (looming layoffs, unclear runway)

• Lack of company vision or clear strategy

• Feeling disconnected from the company’s mission or purpose

Ineffective leadership erodes morale and, over time, chips away at your sense of alignment and purpose.

High leadership turnover is another red flag - it signals instability and often means big (and disruptive) changes ahead.

4. The Structural Stress Trap

The last burnout trap is broader: stress from macro trends that we can’t escape. This feels especially relevant right now with a tough job market, mass layoffs, and AI-driven cost-cutting. It keeps people stuck in jobs that are burning them out.

Morning Brew recently reported on this macro trend of employees feeling disengaged but staying put at their jobs due to economic uncertainties. (I talked about it in this video I shared on LinkedIn.)

Uncertainty about the future of work can fuel anxiety, but it’s important to remember: times of disruption also create opportunity. Our brains are wired to fear loss more than to imagine gain, but I find that focusing on the upside is usually far more productive.

Making an Exit Plan

Once you’ve identified which traps you’re caught in, the next step is to create an exit plan with a timeline. Without a timeline, it’s easy to stay stuck in limbo and prolong burnout.

For me, after I laid out the steps to leave and gave myself a timeline, I felt immediately better about my situation. The worst part is often the uncertainty - when you don’t know if (or when) the pain will end.

Here are some practical strategies:

• Toxic culture trap → Network internally to move teams or managers. If the whole company is toxic, it’s time to job hunt. Or take a break if your body needs time to recover.

• Misaligned role trap → Have a career growth conversation, explore new projects, and set work style boundaries.

• Dysfunctional leadership trap → Pay attention to red flags, align yourself with priority projects, but prepare to exit if instability persists.

• Structural stress trap → Focus on future-proofing your career. (I’ll go deeper into this in a future post.)

“I know my job is toxic, but I can’t leave.”

Sometimes the hardest part isn’t recognizing the problem - it’s leaving. Toxic workplaces, like abusive relationships, can wear you down to the point where you feel too exhausted, powerless, or insecure to escape.

This creates a vicious cycle: the job makes you feel bad about yourself, and feeling bad about yourself makes leaving even harder. If this is where you are, please give yourself grace. Take small steps to rest and reset your nervous system instead of beating yourself up for not being able to move faster.

If your workplace checks all the burnout traps, ask yourself: what’s keeping me here? Is it financial stability? Fear of change? Worry about how others will perceive you? Sometimes it’s not the job itself, but our own limiting beliefs holding us back. Writing things down or talking to a trusted therapist, coach, or mentor can help.

Everyone I’ve spoken to who has left a toxic job has ended up in a much better place. If you’re miserable, you deserve to be on the other side.

What’s Next?

So far, we’ve explored how to:

• Assess your burnout spectrum

• Navigate internal narratives that fuel burnout

• Spot the 4 workplace traps that intensify burnout

In Part 4, I’ll share the systems I use to build a sustainable career to prevent burnout from happening again. Subscribe to get the next post (and practical tools) straight to your inbox. If this resonated, please share it with a friend who might need it. And I’d love to hear your feedback in the comments.

❤️‍🩹 If you’re feeling burned out...

You’re not alone, and you don’t have to figure it out all by yourself.

✨ I’m building a Burnout BFF Community and want your input! It’s a safe space to recover from burnout, reconnect with your creativity, and rebuild an intentional career. If this sounds like what you’ve been craving, please take this quick 2-minute survey to share your interest and help me create something truly meaningful.

This is Part 2 of the Burnout Survival Guide: The same traits that make you successful can be the ones that burn you out - if you don’t change the story you tell yourself about your worth.

In Part 1 of the Burnout Survival Guide, we covered how to assess where you are on the burnout spectrum and why the 4 Non-Negotiables are essential to healing. If you haven’t read it yet, start there first.

Once your body is out of fight-or-flight mode, it’s time to slow down and reflect on why you burned out in the first place.

This means sitting with yourself and truly processing what happened. That reflection can stir up uncomfortable emotions like shame, fear, guilt, sadness, or anger. Burnout can feel like trauma to your nervous system, and in many cases, working with a professional (therapist, psychologist, or coach) can be invaluable in helping you unpack what happened.

It’s tempting to skip this step and jump straight back into “fixing” things - finding the next job, starting a new project, or chasing a new goal. But without doing the deeper work, you risk falling into the same patterns again and again, even in a different role or environment.

Burnout is rarely a one-off incident. More often, it’s the result of years of pushing yourself too hard until one event, person, or environment tips you over the edge. External pressures often play a big role, but there’s usually an internal narrative - a story we’ve been telling ourselves for years - that keeps us overextending long past healthy limits.

To truly heal and prevent future burnouts, we have to examine both:

• External pressures: toxic culture, unsustainable workload, poor leadership

• Internal narratives: the deep-rooted beliefs that keep us driving ourselves into the ground

Why high-functioning overachievers burn out

After talking to dozens of people about their burnout stories, I noticed the same themes kept coming up:

• High performers who care deeply about their work and push themselves beyond their limits for far too long

• Team players who finally break after giving endlessly to companies that don’t give back (or even sabotage them)

• Creatives told to “just execute” instead of being trusted to own their projects and contribute their expertise

The people burning out are high-functioning achievers. I recognized the pattern because I was one of them. For the last decade, I prided myself on being a high performer: I graduated in the top 10% of my college class, earned an MBA, co-founded a startup, and landed a six-figure role in big tech.

On paper, it looked like I was thriving. In reality, I was often stressed, anxious, and caught in an ongoing existential crisis. I chased one milestone after another - a new degree, a promotion, a pay bump - as proof that I was “on track.”

While I’m grateful for the version of me who worked hard to get here, I’ve also realized that some of my core beliefs had to change if I wanted to stop burning out.

The narratives that keep us pushing past the limit

High performers often tie their identity to their career and performance at work. Which means when things are going well, you feel confident and in control. But when the ground shifts - your role changes, a manager stops supporting you, priorities move - it can feel like your entire sense of self is unraveling.

In psychology, this is called conditional self-worth: when your value feels dependent on external validation. It’s shaky ground because so much of what happens at work is out of our control. You can perform at your peak and still get a poor performance rating due to a re-org, shifting priorities, or changes in leadership. Especially in times of widespread layoffs and heightened performance pressure, tying your self-worth to work achievements is a fast track to burnout.

Some common narratives high performers carry:

• My identity is tied to my productivity and the quality of my work

• My power comes from how much people at work respect and like me

• I have to work harder to prove I deserve opportunities

• Being hardworking and accountable makes me likable

• My career success is my most valuable trait

• People depend on me, so I can’t let them down

These beliefs often serve us early in our careers - they help us excel, earn trust, and open doors. But when they’re driven by fear, anxiety, or the need to prove ourselves, they stop being strengths and start becoming traps.

The root fear beneath it all

Sometimes what looks like ambition is really a survival tactic. Many of us learned in childhood that the only way to feel safe was to be competent, independent, and “good.” Achievement wasn’t just a goal - it was how we earned attention, love, or a sense of control when everything around us felt unstable.

This is why, for so many high performers, the thought of slowing down or taking a break feels terrifying. We’ve learned to run at full speed as proof that we’re okay, ignoring our inner voice in the process. But intuition never lies. The clarity and potential we’re chasing can only be found when we have the courage to face our true selves.

Under chronic stress, these high-functioning core beliefs often show up as:

• Perfectionism: “If I do everything right, I’ll be loved.”

• Overworking: “If I keep going, I won’t have to feel the emptiness.”

• People-pleasing: “If I say no, people will dislike me.”

• Competitiveness: “If I’m the best, then no one can hurt me.”

• Defensiveness: “If I’m wrong, I’ll lose their approval.”

Beneath all of these behaviors lies one root fear:

“I am not good enough to be loved for who I am - without the accomplishments.”

We learned early that achievement, reliability, and hard work earn approval - so we double down on those traits. And yes, they often bring external rewards: promotions, validation, recognition, money, or even love.

But success built on fear and external validation is fragile. It only takes one bad boss or one career setback for it all to collapse.

Self-Compassion: The hardest (and most necessary) step

The cruel irony of burnout? High performers often burn themselves out because they care too much - and then they’re the harshest critics of themselves. The moment we notice we need to slow down, our inner critic wakes up, echoing voices from our past: parents, teachers, bosses - anyone who taught us that our worth depends on our productivity.

We beat ourselves up for mistakes or perceived failures, thinking that discipline and relentless work ethic got us to where we are. But there’s a difference between productivity driven by a sense of safety and productivity fueled by fear and anxiety.

I’ve heard people describe their burnout like this:

• “I feel guilty for needing to take a break.”

• “I feel weak for burning out.”

• “Why can’t I just push through like before?”

But burnout is not a weakness. It’s a signal that something in your life is deeply misaligned. You are not at fault - years of conditioning and coping patterns led you here. Beating yourself up only prolongs recovery.

In fact, I believe the people most prone to burnout are often the most accountable and hardworking - they burn out because they care. And sometimes the biggest trap isn’t the toxic environment itself, but our own inner critic, which can be the harshest of all.

The first step to healing from burnout is self-compassion: treat yourself the way you would a close friend facing the same struggle. Give yourself permission to rest and reflect, rather than immediately chasing the next goal. You deserve the time and space, and allowing yourself to heal will help you come back stronger.

You can be ambitious and accountable - and still be kind to yourself. Growth doesn’t have to come at the cost of your well-being.

Practical ways to process and rewrite your narratives

Changing beliefs you’ve carried for decades takes time. There’s no one-size-fits-all method, but here are some approaches that have helped me:

• Talk it out: Find a therapist, psychologist, or coach you trust and share openly. External perspective helps you see patterns you can’t notice alone.

• Write it down: Journaling - whether free-form or guided - lets you uncover your inner voice and practice self-compassion.

• Feed your mind: Read books on self-compassion, psychology, or personal growth to gain new insights and frameworks.

• Sit with yourself: Schedule solo trips, walks in nature, or quiet reflection time. Being alone with your thoughts helps you be in touch with your intuition.

This work helps you separate your definition of success from society’s expectations. It anchors your ambition in self-worth that doesn’t crumble when circumstances change.

And yes, it’s hard. It took me years of therapy and inner work to get here, and I’m still doing the work. But the fact that you’re willing to start means you’re already further along than you think.

What’s next in the Burnout Survival Guide?

Now that we’ve explored the importance of self-reflection and unpacked the internal narratives that contribute to burnout, Part 3 will focus on the outer world: how company culture, leadership, and systems can either support your well-being - or accelerate burnout. Stay tuned and subscribe to get future posts (and practical tools) delivered straight to your inbox.

If you found this content helpful, please share it with a friend who might benefit. And I’d love to hear from you - leave a comment or message me your feedback so I can incorporate it in future newsletters!

❤️‍🩹 If you’re feeling burned out...

You’re not alone, and you don’t have to figure it out all by yourself.

✨ I’m building a Burnout BFF Community and want your input! It’s a safe space to recover from burnout, reconnect with your creativity, and rebuild an intentional career. If this sounds like what you’ve been craving, please take this quick 2-minute survey to share your interest and help me create something truly meaningful.

This is Part 1 of the Burnout Survival Guide: To take leave or not, and the 4 Non-Negotiables for recovery

Before we dive in, let’s define burnout. We throw the term around a lot, but here’s the official definition:

Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged or repeated stress.

Common symptoms include:
- Physical and emotional exhaustion
- Alienation from work-related activities
- Reduced performance in everyday tasks

Possible causes include:
- Feeling constantly overworked or under-challenged
- Being under relentless time pressure
- Ongoing conflict with colleagues
- Extreme commitment that leads to neglecting personal needs

—Sources: NIH, Psychology Today

Let’s be clear: burnout is a health issue. Like any health condition, it exists on a spectrum. Many people don’t realize they’re burned out until they’re already deep in it - when the symptoms are acute and hard to ignore. In today’s always-on world where chronic stress is normalized, early signs of burnout can feel like just another ordinary day.

The first step to burnout recovery is awareness. Knowing where you are on the burnout spectrum can help you take action before things get worse.

I know I’m burned out - should I take a leave?

I was likely burned out for 6 months to a year before I hit a wall and had to take medical leave. At my worst, these were my symptoms:

• Crying randomly throughout the day

• Insomnia caused by anxiety

• Panic attacks when checking work messages

• Brain fog and nausea from exhaustion

• Stress eating

• Feeling empty and unmotivated

• Struggling to focus

• Constantly getting sick and feeling irritable

If you’ve experienced similar symptoms for a prolonged period, it’s time to take these warnings seriously. Being under chronic stress puts our nervous systems in a constant fight-or-flight state, and our bodies simply can’t sustain that forever.

If you’re in this acute stage of burnout, please consider taking a break or seek help. Check your company’s leave policies, speak with your doctor or therapist, and get the support you need. Your body is giving you clear signs that something needs to change, so please listen to the signals and prioritize your health.

But will taking a break fix everything?

Taking extended leave is not a magical fix for burnout, but it can be a necessary and even life-saving first step. I was so depleted by burnout that I could barely function, and it was vital for me to remove myself from the source of stress to give my nervous system a chance to reset.

I understand how scary the idea of taking leave can be. You might be worried about how it will affect your performance review, your team, or your long-term career. And while those concerns are very real and valid, your health must come first. You only get one body, and no job should come before that.

I was terrified to take leave. I considered pushing through, trying different solutions, hoping things would get better. Spoiler alert: they didn’t. And my body forced me to stop.

Taking a 12-week medical leave turned out to be the best decision I made for my health and my career. I couldn’t have healed without physically stepping away from work. So if you are on the verge of a breakdown, let this be your sign that it’s okay to slow down and prioritize your health.

Prioritize the 4 Non-Negotiables

In the first month of my leave, I focused only on the basics: sleep, eat, move, and play. These are the 4 Non-Negotiables: the foundation for healing and long-term sustainability. If you're feeling burned out, chances are at least one of these areas has been neglected.

1. Your body deserves good sleep

We all know sleep is important - countless studies have shown that a good night’s sleep is essential for our bodies to recover from stress. But when you're burned out, your nervous system is often too disrupted for quality rest. You might struggle to fall asleep, or wake up feeling exhausted even after spending 10 hours in bed.

For me, sleep didn’t improve until I no longer had to worry about work. For others, it might mean creating a consistent bedtime routine to signal safety to the body and mind.

Here are a few things that helped my sleep hygiene:

• Logging off screens at least 1 hour before bed

• Doing breathwork or meditation to clear mental clutter

• Sticking to a consistent sleep-wake schedule

• Reducing or cutting out alcohol and caffeine at night

Everyone’s body is different, and a healthy sleep ritual might look different for you. The important thing is finding a routine that supports your nervous system, so your body and mind can get the rest they need.

2. Eat real food (not just takeout and snacks)

When we’re stressed, food often becomes an afterthought. We skip meals, rely on takeout, or snack mindlessly because we don’t have the mental capacity to think about what we eat.

But what we consume directly impacts how we feel. Poor eating habits can leave us even more drained, because our bodies are not getting the fuel they need to function - especially under stress.

During leave, I finally had the time and energy to grocery shop and cook again. But eating well doesn’t have to be a big production. It’s more about intention than perfection.

Some tips that worked for me:

• Light meal prep on weekends to reduce decision fatigue during the week

• A few easy recipes I could rotate based on what I had on hand

• Stocking pantry staples and freezing extras to minimize waste

If you’re a working parent or caregiver, I know time is a luxury and cooking may not always be possible. Do what’s realistic for you - this isn’t about doing it perfectly, just giving your body what it needs when you can.

3. Move your body daily (even just a short walk)

When I’m stressed, movement is the first thing to go. But moving your body is one of the most powerful ways to regulate your nervous system.

Exercise releases endorphins, lowers stress hormones, boosts mood, and reduces anxiety - which are all the things we need in burnout recovery. I used to think I have to be drenched in sweat for an exercise to count as a workout, but gentle movements like a 30-minute walk can be as effective as a HIIT session to lift our moods and support our bodies.

I now try to move every day in ways that feel nourishing:

• 30-minute daily walks outside

• Stretching or yoga in the mornings

• Light runs when I have the energy

Your body is your best guide. Tune in, and give it what it needs.

4. Schedule time to play (for the joy of it)

If you're a high achiever used to checking boxes and chasing goals, you might feel guilty doing things “just for fun.” Society has conditioned us to believe that every moment should be “productive.” But play is not a luxury, it’s essential to recovery.

Burnout often stems from feeling disconnected from joy and purpose. While work might not always be meaningful, we can find fulfillment elsewhere:

• Spending quality time with loved ones

• Engaging in creative hobbies or projects

• Volunteering or being part of a cause you care about

• Doing something you love just to enjoy the process

For me, making art, processing thoughts through writing, reconnecting with loved ones, and volunteering helped bring me back to myself. I stopped focusing on the outcome and started finding joy in simply doing.

If “play” feels unfamiliar or indulgent, I recommend setting a goal and scheduling play time on your calendar as a reminder to prioritize yourself. Even one hour a week can be a great start.

These basics are non-negotiable

Sleep. Eat. Move. Play. These aren’t things to “get back to” when you’re less busy. They’re the foundation of a sustainable and healthy life.

If you’re feeling burned out, start by taking an honest look at these four areas of your life. Where are you neglecting your needs? What’s been missing for too long? This check-in can help you understand where you are on the burnout spectrum, and where to begin your healing.

In Part 4, I’ll share how I’m continuing to prioritize these basics even after returning to work. But for now, just remember: you deserve to rest, nourish, and care for your body. You are not broken. You are healing.

What’s next in the Burnout Survival Guide?

The first step is awareness - recognizing where you are on the burnout spectrum and getting back to the basics. The next step is to reflect on why we are burned out.

In Part 2, we’ll unpack the internal beliefs that drive us to burnout, and begin rewriting narratives that no longer serve us. Stay tuned and subscribe to get future posts (and tools) straight to your inbox.

❤️‍🩹 If you’re feeling burned out...

You’re not alone, and you don’t have to figure it out all by yourself.

✨ I’m building a Burnout BFF Community and want your input! It’s a safe space to recover from burnout, reconnect with your creativity, and rebuild an intentional career. If this sounds like what you’ve been craving, please take this quick 2-minute survey to share your interest and help me create something truly meaningful.